“It does not do to
dwell on dreams and forget to live.” –J.K. Rowling
(This is part two of a post discussing negative reactions. Here's part one if you haven't read it: React)
We’re in such an advanced technological age where nothing is long
lasting. Cars, iPads, iPods, tables,
computers and almost anything technological are always changing and updating. Updating doesn’t mean we fix our current
possessions and make them better. It means we drop we have to buy the latest
and greatest.
So now we’re so used to dropping
what we have when it is broken, outdated, or problematic that we tend to do the
same thing with our very lives. When
something bad happens in life, we tend to “drop” the lives we have now and pick
up the next false sense of comfort we can.
Essentially we discard our lives for a pseudo-reality: one that will
last as long as our technology today.
So here’s the list of the
negative reactions we take in life that are often debilitating and unnatural to
our ultimate end.
Withdrawal—Withdrawing is essentially a complete stepping
back from something which, in this article’s case, would be a negative event in
our lives. When we withdraw we are, in a
way, trying to step back from reality by drawing away from the problem. We are in denial of the negative that exists
and step away from it in the hopes of just happening to step upon some false
reality where the problem doesn’t exist.
This never lasts long. Hence the
common phrases like “then reality hits” or “and I woke up.” Withdrawing from
the problem withdraws from reality, so we become like weakened shells or
shadows of our true selves until we finally accept the reality we have.
Guilt—Guilt is the inability to forgive ourselves usually
due to the blame and responsibility we put on ourselves. If we can’t forgive ourselves, then the guilt
will always weigh us down. Obviously
when something weighs us down it makes it difficult to move, so guilt makes us
immobile. Maybe the guilt is merited but
perhaps it isn’t. In any case,
long-lasting guilt makes us think our actions are unforgivable unmovable—and we
become immovable ourselves; we debilitate ourselves.
Anger—I do not mean a just anger toward somebody at fault,
but a strong resentment and begrudging that inhibits anyone from being able to
forgive. Anger can be just at times, but
if you hold onto it for too long it festers and becomes a hurt—an emotional
scab of sorts. Whenever the topic is
brought up, or a touchy subject reminds us of those negative memories our
emotional scabs are being pulled open; we bleed our anger.
Just anger calls for justice,
but justice (or our conception of justice) cannot be attained for many
reasons. Who do we punish for an
accident? How can we punish our parents
for something they did not understand or already regret? How can we punish somebody who has already
been tried? Who do we punish for a
biological deformity? These “justices”
cannot be answer and either we live in a perpetual scabbing/bleeding out cycle
or we form a false sense of justice that goes beyond the justice given; either
we are emotionally bled dry (and how can we move on if we are bled dry?) or we
seek revenge. Both of these are
debilitating and unrealistic.
Inconstancy—inconstancy is the opposite of decision. It is irresoluteness. But by being irresolute, we naturally cannot
move forward. How can we when we’re
stuck in our own place without any desire to move forward? Hence we are again immobile and weakened,
lacking the future goods we can receive in life.
Envy—Resentment at those more fortunate than others. This is not to be confused with jealousy,
which is a self-reflection of our feelings or attitudes toward another
person. Instead envy wants what the
other person has, or that the other person did not have it; you desire for a
worse off life for the other person.
Until we can see the fortune in our lives (and there is fortune in
everyone’s life) we will live life in perpetual envy of others. We will never be our true selves, but only
disfigured imitations of those better off than us.
Despair—All hope is lost.
We give up on hope and figure that nothing can solve the problem, or
that nothing good can stem from it. For
example, with death we hold on too strongly to the object of the death and not
the life that was lived before and the desired life to be lived afterward. By despair we never find happiness, because
nothing even matters. This usually leads
to withdrawal, and we are again nothing more than shadows.
Depression—Depression is often the result of all of the
other reactions combined. But this is
harder to tackle because there may be many other biological factors for
depression. Still, there are other biological
factors that can make us happy (which will be discussed later.
So we know how these negative
reactions can be debilitating and prevent us from moving on to our greater
goal. How can we convert our negativity
to positivism? How can we make a habit
of reacting positively? I’ll write about
this next post! If you have any
questions, comments, suggestions, etc. lemme know! Remember, life is beautiful and life is good;
look for the beauty and you’ll find it without much difficulty!
Thanks and take care!
