I Can't Believe That I Didn't Say This Sooner

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'M SORRY!!!! Now you can leave me alone and enjoy a new post! I'm not guaranteeing nothing, though. If you don't enjoy it, go cry about it and I'll give you a sweet tart. For now, I'm giving you an update. I'll see if I can find something to talk about intensely later on.

I just realized. I'm wasting time! I've got guitar to practice. I've missed two weeks and I've barely practiced! What do I practice! Stiney, you guys are wasting my time! Kind of true, but it's me. And I want to do this. I guess I can update you guys on that. Ever since I've had lessons things have been going breezy with learning stuff. I'm no Van Halen, but I'm definitely...Damien Crane. Yeah, who can deny the superiority of that?!

Some other news is that I've been running a choir. In case you guys didn't know that! Yeah...been doing it for a while now. Bossing around a cool kid that plays piano (gotta boss him because he clunks the piano) and then bossing around my family and a few others always brings a good time. But not really! It's summer! We should have breaks! I'm running low on choir! I think we really have only one girl..but she might not be at the next Mass we're preparing for, that's no good. And then we've got a dictator "liturgical director" telling us what to do and how to do things. And, quoting OCP (Oregon Catholic Press, they make the hymnals for our church) we "should look for a new liturgical director." Yeah, my beef on that. Eat it! It's fun...I just want to get the choir experienced on chant and parts...but we're running pretty low now, so I've got a couple other things to worry about.

Been working. Good enough. Learning more Spanish.

Have got two new kittens! Possibly three! I can say for sure that we have two new kittens because that's what we officially have. One this bugly thing but adorable at the same time, and another runt that's black and (a little bit) white that has dark blue eyes. Imagine that, black with dark blue eyes! He's so cool. The third I found today, meowing like it was the end of the world, over at work. He's beautiful, serious. He doesn't look wild, but I can't see him moving that far away from the nearest house there was. I'll ask the coworkers and find out. But I'm hoping we can keep her. She's too cool and beautiful to pass up.

Did I ever tell you guys about the time one of my dogs (Bibi- black lab and chow mix) got into a fight with a raccoon? No? Well here's the story:

It was a windy day and the dogs were barking, and we look at this tree (it was winter, so there were no leaves) and there is a raccoon swinging back in forth in the wind on one of the branches! Well, we had new pups then so we were wanting to get that thing away. Only...nothing would really move it. To stop the dogs from going crazy, we put them inside, but they still were anxious (or so I heard) to get out. My dad brought a pruning tower from the other side of the house and, with a pool pole, knocked the raccoon down the tree slowly but surely. Eventually the raccoon gave away and Royce and I made sure it headed out past our field. Royce was recording (we don't have the video anymore, I think), and I was holding this shorter pool pole when we see one of our dogs, Bibi, rushing like wildfire after the raccoon right into the olive orchard. My brother thought the coast was clear so he opened the door and Bibi just went rushing after the raccoon. So Royce and I ran into the olive orchard by climbing the fence and Royce then had the pole when we reached the coon and Bibi. The raccoon was pinned against a tree and baring it's teeth and scratching and biting whenever Bibi got near. But Bibi always knew the right time to strike. She always went for the throat, as I recall, while the raccoon couldn't really do anything in that position but bite and scratch where it could. Not wanting anyone to get bit or rabies or anything, I got the pole from Royce and pinned the raccoon to the tree while Royce dragged Bibi away. The raccoon climbed the tree afterwards and that was the last of it. Bibi didn't even get a scratch! I'd show you pictures of the cute little thing, but I have no clue where to find them, and I looked!


Too long! Post too long! It's boring, I know! Sorry. I promise I'll do better next time.

Cheers

Joy. Oh, How it Can Radiate

Last night, Thursday May 08, I had many different and wonderful dreams. But I'm going to share my favorite one. Probably the best dream of my life, actually.

First, I need to tell you a story. I might have the details a little wrong, but I'll try my best to get the message down.

I had a great aunt named Judith, but always called Wif (Weef). She had the best personality and the kindest heart. She almost became a nun, but hadn't made thee final vows to care for the family needs. She babysat all over for our family, even when she shouldn't have. Her family and God were her main concerns. If she wasn't busy watching someone, I would see her sitting down with a rosary, praying away. Later in her life, Wif was diagnosed with cancer. I'm sorry, but I can't actually remember the actual type of cancer; it was either lymphoid cancer or lung cancer, but either way it caused her whole body system to fail in such a horrible way. Wif ignored the pain and medicine and offered it for the sake of a nephew's reversion to the Catholic faith. She even avoided foods in case some pain medications were slipped in. All in all, Wif died a heroic death, and there is no doubt in my mind where she was heading. What would have cleared any doubts about it was the most beautiful dream I had.

I was sitting in my room, on the bottom of the room's bunk bed. There was no hint about what I was doing, but the next instant I knew I was sitting, there she was.
Wif wasn't actually there, walking from the door of the room to the windows on the opposite side. At least, her complete body wasn't there. But it was Wif, alright. Transparent, but with all her features: Wild-red hair, a waddling kind of walk, and a full clothing of purple, her favorite color.
I patted the space on the bed next beside me. Knowing she was long passed away, I just wanted to be with her and talk with her. My body quivered with the excitement of seeing her. As I patted the space beside me, I spoke, "Sit down, Wif." But she wouldn't have it that way. Wif gave me a wide smile and shook her head, always walking towards the window. But there was no window in view. It was just pure white, hazing the walls and ceiling of my wall. I didn't mind; I knew what I was witnessing. Wif had a more important calling that second, and that was God. As she finished her wide smile at me, she turned to the white. Always walking. Pure joy radiated through me then and for a long while afterwards, as I watched Wif walk and get engulfed in the light. I feel certain of where Wif is. And I'm asking her more often to pray a storm for us here on Earth.

Death could be a tragic thing. But the beauty of our end is surreal. We go to God; that is our point in life. We leave this world to God, who is True Happiness.


Cheers

Everything- Lifehouse

http://www.godtube.com/view_video.php?viewkey=ee73e63418003b47d7d5


Something that's hecka cool. Get past the beginning, and you'll appreciate it for sure!

The Sun Never Shines On Closed Doors

I was driving home last night listening to as many laid-back songs as I could when I came upon "The Sun Never Shines On Closed Doors" by Flogging Molly. I've always enjoyed the relaxing melody of the song, so it wasn't too new for me in anyway. As I sipped my lemonade, the sad melody and words (the same as the title) of the refrain reached to me. But not only to my ears, but to something more. Instantly my head whirled about the words until I got the message that love won't pour in until you open your heart.

I thought of it. I thought about it. If you close your heart, what will you get? Yes, you can always protect your heart, but when you close it to all those around you, do you feel loved? Do you wish to feel loved?

I'm not talking about the love a boy finds when he sees an attractive woman, or the "love" you feel if a boy is talking to you above all others. I'm talking of the other genuine love. The love for neighbor. If you set your heart on blocking out all things, if you close your heart to everything, and your demeanor changes for it, will you expect love to come to you? You can compare it to everything else. You wish to change your ways and faults, but, because of pride, you close your ears to all those around you. Would you expect anything to change?

In a way, it's easier to see from the other way around. Anyone willing to be there for a friend, a family member, anyone, would have his heart open so that he may "pour" his love into that distressed person. But this person won't take it; he has his heart closed.

I know this probably sounds all too confusing, and not in the least bit entertaining. But it's just something too fascinating, vast and complicated for me to let it off my mind so easily. I hope any of you readers know what I mean. On a last note, I'm not saying to keep your heart open to everyone to have friends or to feel loved. Protecting the heart is something everyone should probably do in life. But in the same sense that The Sun Never Shines on Closed Doors,

So it is that Love won't pour in until your heart is opened.

Damien

First Addition to My Family

An Ode to Sisters

http://damienispious.blogspot.com/2006_08_01_archive.html

I now see the importance of a sister. Or at least a really girly guy. You see, Desi* was gone for five days and boy...it was quiet. When she came back things have been more relieving and such. So I figured to myself that I have now figured out the true purpose of sisters.Sisters arent in any way meant to be just annoying, which is obviously one of their natures. But they're also meant to be talkative. And this is a true gift from God, mind you.

You see, with Desi* gone, things just felt empty. EMPTY! Desi* comes back and you hear the same things over and over, and somehow....its a good thing. It's hard to explain, but I think being annoying and talkative at the same time can be a relief to people who despise utter silence, it must be the purpose of the sister! Sisters have another purpose though. Sisters are the ones with the weird styles, class, etc. As in they like the weirdest things! One example of a song that I'm sure everyone can relate to...SOS. Because I have a sister, I would hear that song at LEAST two times a day. Once it was five altogether in one day...Trust me, it was terrible. Another example is "Hips dont Lie"....Blegh. That's all there is to it. But this gets me to thinking again. Yet another purpose of the sister is to demonstrate to everyone else that life is hard and cruel in mysterious ways! And that people you're going to meet in the future will be like your sister. So there is another good thing about sisters. You get used to that weird, annoying, talkative being so much that when you meet someone exactly the same in college or something like that, it'll be like they're your best friend, even though they're uber annoying and talkative! For those without sisters, they'll just be sitting there, staring and thinking, "Ok......this girl likes to sing Kelly Clarkson in the public.......during a movie!" What goes along with the purpose of a sister also is that you learn to be gentleman-like...no matter how much your sister hates it, overuses it "I'm the girl so that's why!" etc. You just learn. Thanks to Des*, if some girl untunes my guitar for no stinking reason at all...I wont blow up! Just get really annoyed.


One last thing I'm glad I've learned because of Des* is that girls CAN ACTUALLY BE NICE! So now in the future if some girl laughs at a joke or doesnt completely put me down I wont be startled and amazed at a girl actually being nice. I'll be somewhat jolted, because it's very rare, but I wont be jaw-dropped or anything. So there you have it. This is my load of scat concerning sisters. Hope you enjoy this completely random (but not as boring as Lance's post) topic!Damien* Note: Desi is just an example for a name of the average sister. Desi is in fact the sweetest sister I've ever met and had. Desi is not an average sister either, she is in fact her own...nothing like all you other annoying, talkative, sometimesreallynicebutatcompletelyrandomtimes, sisters out there. She's the best.


You talk about the memories, you remember them all. -Damien

Thoughts from Work

Today is the day that I'll be someone new;
I'll be myself, I'll be someone true,
I won't carve my thoughts to those of another's mind,
I'll listen to the voice that screams from inside
That this is not me, this is not who I am,
This is not the person who God had in plan,
So today I'll set that voice inside free
I won't be a fake, I'll only be me.

Sure,
I have my faults, but those are my own,
They aren't yours, or God's;
They are what I've sown.

And God, I'll try to be who You want me to be,
Because in You alone I can be made happy,
I will try to follow, no matter the cross,
Because You sacrificed Your Son,
So that all souls are not lost.
I find hope,
I find direction,
I find love in You,
I only hope that I can be true,
To follow what You wish me to do.

Whenever, wherever



Damien

It's Lent, I know.

But, it is something I enjoy doing; talking about the little discoveries of my mind. That can happen often, too. Just not like a cool discovery (eg. I discovered that ((at least, sprinkler related)) plugs in Spanish is topanes and that a little sprinkler part is called "coples"), but one nevertheless.

I was praying the Rosary on the way back home from Sacramento with Lance and was trying to meditate on the third sorrowful mystery when a thought struck me. This (the mystery, or event in Jesus' passion) could probably be the biggest thing Jesus did in my eyes. Jesus was scourged, nailed to the cross, beaten and falsely detracted many times, but Him being crowned opened up something to me.
Jesus was crowned with a mock-crown of thorns, each digging deeply into his skin; tearing off his flesh. All the while he was being beaten and mocked, each comment an offense to His infinitely perfect nature as God the Son. All of us wish to defend ourselves or to retaliate when treated wrongly because of pride. If Jesus had any ounce of pride, any at all, He would immediately lash out against those who were mocking and it would be totally justified. 100%. But Jesus' love for us was so great that He took it all. He accepted being mocked and beaten: He accepted the Crown of Thorns. When this thought crossed my head it struck me that Jesus must have loved every single one of us to accept His being mocked and beaten upon; to accept His entire passion. If He had any ounce pride, or any second-thought about His love for us, Christ wouldn't follow through with what He suffered. It makes the lyric I heard in a song run through my head over and over again.

Never underestimate my Jesus.

Cheers

Why Do We Fall, Sir?

Well, first, before I explain why we fall, how about I explain what happens when we fall.

Since the fall of man, we've been falling left and right (whoa, whoa! Did I just say why we fall? Or what caused us to make ourselves fall, actually...). A sin here, a sin there. It's happened forever, basically. Now, since Christ and His sacrifice on the cross, we've been given the chance to confess and confess again. But we still fall, it's true.

When we fall it (I'm not sure if it happens for everyone, but I'm guessing it does for many) feels like we've just ended our world. That our lives aren't worth anything anymore; there is no chance. Sometimes when we fall we focus on our fall, leading into more and more falls. Despair. Presumption (in a sense, but not as much). It all happens when we focus on our fall. There is no chance. The point I guess I'm trying to say(I'm really not wording it like I'd like to...maybe I'll save it into a draft and try again some other time) is that focusing on our falls aren't really that healthy for us. Sure, it's only natural (hopefully, to all you people) to feel really guilty for your sins and an ultimate sense of failure ensues, but it could turn into something naturally (or maybe unnaturally) unhealthy for your soul.
You wake up and remember your failure the day before, "Oh look what you did yesterday. Look at yourself, you've failed." What's the next thing you should think of? Do you dwell on this failure and moan and think about it the whole day? Well, only if you're absolutely positive that this can help you. (But I'm not saying that it's bad to be upset the whole day about what you did, only when you dwell on it the whole day and basically nothing else.) Otherwise, the next thought in your head should come from your (so to say) own self which doesn't act on it's own accord (like, the thought of your failure the day before just automatically came into you, as if you didn't really say it; that it was just there. Whereas the next thought should come from you, where you get up and you think about it and come to your own conclusion, like from your own voice). This next thought should be something along the lines of "Yes, I failed yesterday. I was wrong, completely and truly. It eats inside of me, feeding on my faults. But I will do all that I can to starve this beast within me. God, in His infinite mercy, will give me the chance to start again. I will go out and do what I can today. Confession. And I will make darn sure I try harder this time. No chance of confession today? I will ask the Lord again and again for forgiveness and I will try again tomorrow, or whichever day I know I have the chance."
I used to dwell on whatever happened for a long time. Many times I tried not to, but occasionally I would give in. I know that that was alot worse than what I do now. I guess (in my own way) the best way to go on, when there is no chance for help or penance and all that that day, is to just look forward to that Penance and to not ignore the good things happening to you. When the thought comes along, which is only natural, I could say a prayer or an act of contrition; resolving to not fail again without a better fight and going back into the days work or activity and all that. Dwelling on it whenever the thought pops up certainly won't help.

I guess I won't really explain why we fall. I'm pretty sure all of you know; it's in our nature, grasping us to keep back. I won't really go into it. But now I can't really answer the question to my subject! It should actually be asked differently, though. The question should ask,

"What do we do when we fall, sir?"

Well, so we might better learn to pick ourselves up.

If I Was a Freebird!

So, two nights ago I had this wondeful dream. Really, it was wonderful. It was the first dream, you see, where I was able to fly!!

Some unknown guy with powers gave me the power to fly so that I can carry out some unknown task for him. Kinda freaky huh? I mean...I could've been doing this awful stuff for him without knowing it, just like in the movies!! But I knew I was doing good. Because, one! I never do bad deeds in my dreams (most the times)! And two! I felt like I was doing a good thing, like...say, I was helping a person get something he couldn't reach for in his age or what not, it just made me feel good. And three! Jonathan Lance and Royce kept chasing me around trying to catch me and stop me from doing anything and they were always rude about it...you can't be rude and doing a good thing! Can you? :-D
So, with this awesome power given to me, I was able to change into...guess what? A butterfly!! Pretty pathetic, huh? But the cool thing about my gift is, if I go full speed or something for about ten seconds I change into a sparrow (thankfully nobody shot me), after ten more seconds it was a hawk or something, then it was an eagle, then ten seconds more and I was a huge mix between a huge eagle and some type of hawk. I was pretty happy with the last thing. :-) I never figured out what I was supposed to do exactly though...my brothers kept giving me a hard time with finishing it. But Desi was on my side (reason four!) and as a token of my appreciation I flew her around the city and inbetween cars and what not. Theeeeen I woke up.

Deeper into life (as if a dream where I can finally fly isn't deep enough), I have been thinking about life again. Look at my life...I've got the best family I can wish for (this goes for my relatives as well), wonderful friends who I feel I can trust and talk to, priests all around who are always ready to help out. I've got wonderful pets, I'm easily entertained. Jasmine and Chumley and all sorts of instruments. I've got a great life!! Sure things can go wrong (and they do! They do...) but I can always go to someone to help me out sooner or later. But what I always think, is how much do I deserve this?? I don't think I deserve any of this. None at all. Maybe a glass of water after I helped someone build a house or something, but nothing greater in life. It just goes to show how much God is better than me by about a gajillion x infinity more times. It's like Jonathan said "How can we think we deserve anything from God? Especially Heaven?? One sin is all it takes to completely make us undeserving of anything." And it's true, sure he was talking to the YG about not thinking we should deserve Heaven for barely trying and what not, but those words made me think about life in general. What did I do to deserve all this? Absolutely nothing! The most I can do is (besides rambling on about it, which I've probably already done) is just be grateful with everything I've got for everything I've got and be ready in case (which would probably do some justice, if any) I'm to sacrifice it all for someone or some moral thing...kinda weird ain't it? I don't think I'm putting it into words too well, but I thought I might as well try for a post. :-D I shall end this subject reminding you all to be grateful with what you've got...though times are hard, it's definitely not as hard as things could be. In addition to that, we should definitely pray to those less fortunate than us.

Maybe a question could help this post? What are the saddest and happiest songs you've heard? It doesn't need to be the actual saddest song you can think of, but just one that comes to mind quickly or what not.

Damien

That Little Chipmunk Scared Me

Over the years, I've learned many lessons. Some of them I ignored at the time, some of them I still do...though I know I shouldn't. Some of them I just know I don't do by watching others! I can't really think of all of them, but here are some of the ones I like to remember.

• ...And someone is holding his arms over you, try a shot from behind your back; I was able to do it twice in a row!
• Never play on the blacktop in the summer...barefoot. It's really painful, but boy oh boy does water feel good afterwards!
• Never guard Royce when you're playing in flip-flops...he likes to step on them and almost make you fall.
• Never shoot an arrow straight into the air...with wind. It'll fly about 100 feet away from you and scare the living poo out of your brother and friend...who are downwind (it wasn't that much wind really...just alot way up in the air) and about 100 feet away.
• Never squeeze/drop your jamba juice cup UNLESS you want to pour it into another cup and share it with your friends.
• Hahaha, never make sharp turns on your first day of driving with a permit at 25 miles an hour with food in the back seat. It's a good way to spill Mexican sauces all over the wrong kinds of food.
• Never say hi to a talkative person when you know you don't have the time to talk.
• Never eat two corndogs and then go on the "Gravitron" four times in a row just to look for a pair of sunglasses you won at a 25 cent machine, but lost on the ride.
• When angry at a video game, never throw your controller or bang your mouse.
• Don't eat spaghetti/sloppy food during a test.
• Never go around camp after hours with someone who gets scared really easily.
• Never give a kid who barely touches guns a rifle that has no safety.
• Never eat "coacoa pebbles" cereal when you're sick.
• Never give someone the shotgun seat when he loves to DJ at full sound.
• Never talk about how girls can be at a boys' camp.
• Never walk up to a dog in the parking lot when you're scared for you life of it
• Never drive a tractor in or near the mud.
• Never make jokes where they won't get it and you'll just have to end up explaining the complete details of the joke and why it is funny when, by the time you're done, it isn't funny anymore because the moment has passed.

And last but not least.

• Never mix up your words when your family already presumes you've drank just a bit too much....

Toodles!

what you feel you should say...

Mi Own little reminder on what to post on next... :-D Oh! I know.. I promise I'll get one in by the end of this month.

"I love you" "No, not today"

Trust is an exciting thing. You simply acknowledge that you think this person will do this, that this person will not say this, that what you believe out of this person is true. With trust, one may reveal all his thoughts on the world, all his secrets, all his passions, every little urge that dwells in deepest parts of his bodies to someone with whom he believes in the most (having the most trust in, that is).
What makes trust an exciting poem, in a sense, is all the mystery behind it. Can this person really be trusted? Who am I to trust him? Why do I feel I can trust him when I’ve met him after only talking to him for about three minutes (in person :-D)? What are the consequences of my trusting this person? When can I know for sure? And ah yes, the inevitable (I’ve really taking a liking to that word lately) question, “am I to trust myself??”
It’s so awesome, the feeling of trust. When you know you can trust someone; you just know it. It’s like when you hear people in stories and movies talking one sentence to each other until one of them says, “I think we’re going to get along juuust fine.” They’re rarely asked why in those stories, but if they were, the answer would surely be something along the lines of “Oh, I’ve just got that feeling.” I wonder, if someone answered “Oh, I read a fortune from a fortune cookie that the next person I say that to will be for-sure true.” Would that count? I mean…that’s a lot of trust in a fortune cookie. But maybe that’s leaning a bit towards superstition? So let’s go with the first answer. I like that one anyways.
You see, trust can go everywhere; it’s a never-ending story, basically. You may trust someone, and lose it entirely for some reason, only to be completely mistaken and gaining it back, while the same thing happens to you where you are not trusted when you ought to be (though…I’m not sure if any normal man ought to be trusted entirely). It goes everywhere; it’s an exciting thing, really.
Now, trust may be an exciting thing, but not only is it exciting; trust is also dangerous. An extreme sense you can use for an example is giving a passing man a loaded gun, the keys to your house and the instructions: “Come, sit on my porch for a week and guard my house from trespassers. You can only use the keys to feed my kitty-witty, Lincoln and to feed your own face moderately.” All right, maybe this isn’t only an extreme sense, but a rather moronic, idiotic (if not entertaining) sense. But you all get the point right? I mean…you guys wouldn’t trust some guy off the street with your keys and a gun while you’re out sipping soda through a souvenir cup with a souvenir straw while admiring your souvenir fan hat at Disney World….RIGHT????
Trust gets really into it when someone breaks the trust; they may not know that they have, like say….they were caught, but don’t know it, but heck, they may know about it. They can do two things if their reason for mistrust is ever figured out (maybe they can do it before they figure out it’s known, but haven’t done anything about it on account of pride), they can either blow away the fact that it’s known, or feel guilty about it. Heck, maybe they’re even ignorant beyond reason! But the thing with trust is that, once it is broken, it causes a really deep wound so to say; one that still hurts throughout time. Now what I mean by hurt is this.
Someone breaks your trust, you feel bad at yourself for trusting them; you might feel angry at them for completely using your trust and throwing it down the garbage shoot. But then they come and ask for forgiveness, and you feel better again, like everything will be ok. Maybe that’s true with some people, but with a lot (I’m pretty sure) of the people, there will always be that wound. The hurt of the pain isn’t a feeling, like an “ouch” kind of thing, it’s more of a reminder, that this person did this to you. So, when trust is broken, but everything seems ok afterwards, there can be that hurt that always questions the true intention of the person. You remember this person breaking your trust before, so that little nagging thought always comes up “this person has broken it before, what if it’s starting over again? What if that little compliment was all but a part in another game of his/hers?” I’m guessing, that with some people, it may completely go so deep that they avoid this person entirely. But you may here, often, sometimes, whatever, that little saying “give him the benefit of the doubt” and there is an amazing analogy about how we should always try and do our best (cautiously, I would suggest) to give people a second chance.
Christ did so many things for us, painful things; things that would probably cause my sanity to collapse entirely where my legs buckle down and I have no more will left in me. Christ died for us. I mean, this is One of the Three Persons in God, the Son, who was sent to suffer and die for us, just so that we may be redeemed. He completed His task! No matter how difficult it was. But He did it, and there is no use denying that.
But what do so many of us do? We fall into sin. We are trapped by the temptations, we give in, and we fall into sin. We feel sorry for our sins (most of the time) and we repent, and Christ is ever so willing to forgive us. But we make it worse, we not only sin once and repent and go our own way. We sin, repent and go our own way, and then we sin again! And again, and again, and again, and again. We know we sin, Christ knows we sin. But what happens though? We repent; we feel truly sorry for what we do. And by God’s unending mercy, commands, and ways, we ask Christ to forgive us, and He does. I mean…here we (I) are (am), after having sinned so, many, times, asking Christ to forgive us!! Do I deserve it? Should I be forgiven? “Lord I am thine unworthy servant, do with me what thou wilt.”
I honestly don’t know how I myself can be forgiven, but that’s definitely because I’m not as great a person as Christ. It’s really hard to think about it (Christ forgiving people endlessly), but I do know that Christ does forgive me endlessly. It’s why He’s so great!! For me, it’s one of those kinds of mysteries. Where I don’t (or at least feel like I don’t) know why I’m forgiven, or how I’m forgiven, but I know it is so. Because God, through His Son, made it so.

I’ll try to end it with a prayer, that’s probably used by many, but that I like to think of as one I made myself. I’ve been doing it for a long while, especially before confessions, as a kind of way to acknowledge the gravity of sin.


Dear Jesus, how many times have I tempted You to let the cup pass?
How many times did I kiss You, giving You up for worldly items?
How many times did I grab You, bind You, and forced You on Your way to an completely wrong trial?
How many times did I utter false accusations along Your way, lying with what I can to get You condemned?
How many times have I denied Thee? How many?
How many times did I lay the scourge upon Your back? On Thy side? On Thy front?
How many times have I sent those thorns deep into Your head?
How many times have I beat You?
How many times have I completely mocked You, comparing You to the lowest speck of Earth?
How many?
How many times did I see no wrong in You, where I only saw holiness, goodness; that you were the true Son of God, yet condemned You to the cross?
How many times have I given You the cross, forcing You a burden on Your way to death?
How many times did I cause You to fall down, and did not pick you up?
How many times did I deny aiding Thee, and when it had been forced upon me to do so, did I make it known that it was not of my will?
How many?
How many times have I stripped You of your garments, causing the wounds to be re-opened?
How many times did I lay You on the cross and forced You to it by nailing your hands and Your feet?
How many times did I mock You even then, while You were at the last hours of your life?
How many times have I pierced Thy heart?
How many times have I sent Thee to the utmost agony?
How many?

And yet, after every confession you just know that Christ (maybe in my own, weird sense of things) looks past those things, once they are done with Him, and takes us in His arms and says “I absolve thee of all thy sins; you are forgiven.”
So, trust is an exciting thing. People can break our trust, causing the hurt in us. Heck, we can not only get hurt from trust being broken, but all manner of ill-doing towards us. But do we forgive them??



Oh, heck yes, we do.

Lent Is Still Going

So Hold Fast To Your Resolutions You Catholics, You!!

Damien

So you find all our pictures and you lay them down, you see familiar faces and you're comforted now.

So,

Lately, I've been really wanting to put up a post, only I couldn't think of what to put up!! I mean...I think I've lost most of my graces in making weird reports, at least for now (:-D ), so if I don't get it by the end of this post, I'll just keep it to one subject. Best be expecting alot of different subjects, though, just in case! ;-)

So, we had the Walk for Life, and though it was my first time and I thought the Pro-Choice group was just way out of hand, even though everyone said that that was nothing compared to how it's been. Good thing, too. I probably would have lost it. I really wanted to just tell those people more than I said (haha, and what I said to one person I shouldn't have said). Buuuut it was also cool to see so many people Walking, there! I mean...it was so cool! I was thinking, though. We've got to come up with some good slogans for those Pro-choicers out there. Haha, and that's the idea for this post: What would you guys have for signs next Walk?? I can't really give ideas though...because I'm not too sane in it. For instance, I'd want to have a sign saying "Oh yeah??? We're right, so POO ON YOU!!!!" and then at the bottom of the sign would be one of those little smileys, kinda like this one, if it'll work. (I think the second one would be better). But we've also got to do some chants of our own too! I was too chicken to do it this year, but I think, if everyone will do it (ha, I'm still acting chicken about it) we should do the one chant I had in mind.

"If you're Catholic (you could substitute Catholic for pro-life if any non-Catholics are present, but why do that??? :-D ) and you know it clap your hands! If you're Catholic (pro-life) and you know it clap your hands! If you're Catholic and you know it then your faith should surely show it, if you're Catholic and you know it clap your hands!

If you're Catholic (pro-life) and you know it------------"

Darn...my conscience made me stop. I wanted to keep going, too!! Oh! I know what I HAVE to wear at hte next Walk, some steel-tipped boots! You know...for the, uhhhh, long hiking. Oh! And a guitar. And a Boombox. And a really camcorder. Aaaaand yeah I think that's it. Oh and money, that we can stop to that one place that is really famous for their wings (haha, that's an overstatement!! Only if you know what I'm talking about, though....). But yeah, what can you guys seeing yourselves doing differently for the next Walk? I mean by signs and all that stuff.

Next subject! I just realized that it's been so stinking long since I've written on my blog! About time, too; it feels muuuuuuch funner than I remember. Oh, that gets me thinking! Do you guys say funner, or more fun? Funner is definitely a cooler word. Like....fruitbasket. Or hecka. Or crimony. Or pathetic (patha-etic, I like to pronounce it that way).
Ahh! I'm reading the Screwtape Letters...it's hecka good! I mean, crimony, it's super good! It's not one of those addictive books that you can just read all day (for me, at least, which is hard being that I like almost every book I like...except for that stupid book called "Swiss Family Robinson"...what a happy book), but it's one that get's you thinking after every letter! It's deep, it's so hecka cool.

Oooooooooooooh yeah. I remember this now. I would make long posts and it'd be hard to comment it all. well, I'll bottle up my excitement for the night and write again to my blog some other day. Let's say this. If, for some reason I absolutely can't write on my blog, then I'll be excused. But I promise that I will make a new post before this February is up, how about that? " src="file:///C:/PROGRA~1/Yahoo!/MESSEN~1/media/smileys/15.gif" align=textTop sm="15">
Toodles,

Damien

PS. Many thanks to those who in any way brought about the hastening of this post. As to many thanks for being my friends. For supporting the Walk of Life. And especially many thanks to the person who I used as a smiley-receiver, just so I could drag them onto this post! you know who you all are! (I'm Damien, by the way)

Sorrow Drips Into Your Heart, Through a Pinhole...

Warning: The post you are about to read contains a 90% chance of causing you to sleep. Read at your own caution.

It's been a while since I've done one of my signature posts, hasn't it? I'm kind of upset at myself for letting my blog come this way, but at the same time I'm busy and I'm sure you all were thinking "Oh, thank goodness; he hasn't done one of his signature posts in a while!!!" Well...to tell the truth, nothing has come to mind that I actually remembered. So I'm going to patiently think until a good subject I like to talk about comes up. And then I begin typing away on it.

.......Actually what I'd like to do later on (maybe before or right after Christmas) is re-post my research on music files and the legalities of it all. But right now I'm not exactly where it is in the archives.
So there is a subject I'd like to talk about. Moral law, it's everywhere, and it's been everywhere. We talk about Indians being ignorant in their actions before we moved into America, which is true about Faith, but they were likely to be very aware of right and wrong. Because God has given everyone conscience since the beginning of time, everyone has been able to put an accurate distinction between right and wrong. I'm guessing things that are part of their lives, such as tribal feuds (and hence, tribal fights) and everything would probably seem O.K. to them, but I wonder if, when scalping, what they would have felt about something like that. But conscience is constantly ignored these days, as well. We've got abortion, theft, murder, liberals (I just wanted to add that one in :-p ) and many other things. There are illegal surgeries (some legal ones, too) and crimes that you hear about some way or the other that makes you think, "How can someone possibly do something like that?"...I don't read the newspaper often, heck I rarely check the news anymore. But about less than two weeks ago I picked up our daily news. On the front page I read about three different crimes...it's rather depressing. But at the same time, there are so many good things still out there and you think that it's probably all been the same throughout the world; bad things are seemingly everywhere, just as are good things.

So basically I just rambled with this post, didn't I? I guess I'm not too good at talking to a computer. I think I'll try this subject with someone in person later on...preferably Jonathan, he's always got answers and knowledge and the know-hows of things (so if you've got anything to talk about, go to him). :-D


So............what does everyone want for Christmas?

Damien

All I Want For Christmas Is You

The following is a paragraph from chapter 9 of The Series of Unfortunate Events: The End. It is also very interesting to read. :-D

The phrase "in the dark," as I'm sure you know, can refer not only to one's shadowy surroundings, but also to the shadowy secrets of which one might be unaware. Every day, the sun goes down over all these secrets, and so everyone is in the dark in one way or another. If you are sunbathing in a park, for instance, but you do not know that a locked cabinet is buried fifty feet beneath your blanket, then you are in the dark even though you are not actually in the dark, wheras if you are on a midnight hike, knowing full well that several ballerinas are following close behind you, then you are not in the dark even if you are in fact in the dark. Of course, it is quite possible to be in the dark in the dark, as well as to be not in the dark not in the dark, but there are so many secrets in the world that it is likely that you are always in the dark about one thing or another, whether you are in the dark in the dark or in the dark not in the dark, although the sun can go down so quickly that you may be in the dark about being in the dark in the dark, but in the dark in the dark nonetheless, not only because of the dark, but because of the ballerinas in the dark, who are not in the dark about the dark, but also not in the dark about the locked cabinet, and you may be in the dark about the ballerinas digging up the locked cabinet in the dark, even though you are no longer in the dark about being in the dark, and so you are in fact in the dark about being in the dark, evn though you are not in the dark about being in the dark, and so you may fall into the whole the balllerinas have dug, which is dark, in the dark, and in the park.




..........................Can anybody follow this? I mean, I had to type this and all, but it still hurts my head just to follow along with it. I only wish I can do this good with the "I know what you know what you think...etc."

Burnt Popcorn

So. One day we all got new pillows. But you see, my pillow wasnt too great: waaaay too fluffy. But I used it for a little whiles, just to see if I'd get used to it.

So. One day I was using Jonathan's super old, goose-looking lamp that can get really really hot, and I was using it in my bed while reading. I gots to finish reading whatever I was reading and put it down for the night. Then, I noticed my sheets werent tucked in or anythings like that. For some odd reason, I cared about that. I mean, I almost never care about the sheets being untucked..I usually sleep that way, too. But for some odd reason I was doing that...or I was stacking books at the foot of my bad (I'm on the top bunk, so I have to shove the books in the corner so my feet wont hit them). Either way I was distracted and so I start smelling something. I look around and think "Burnt popcorn?? Is someone breathing that smell??" (note: we had popcorn during a movie that night). "I dont remember it being burnt though.." so as I was pondering this and continuing my work I still wondered where the popcorn smell was from...finally, I finished whatever I was doing and turned to go to bed. That's when I noticed it. The lamp fell over onto my pillow...which started burning a nice hole right into the feathers of the pillow. Smoke came from the pillow and I found out where that popcorn smell was coming from. So, after some difficulties I put out the fire and tucked it away by the open window (our room smelled like burnt popcorn, though, for the whole night). Alas, I was finally able to use my nice, flat pillow again. Yay!!!!

And so ends Damien's epic story.

Peace out. Oh, props for the reminder of my little past...Now I cant wait to go to the Dugyons again to see and smell the new floor. ;-) But I still want to go to the Maher's even more to see MY BABY!!! Shan, did a dingo actually eat it? If so...I new I should've sued you long ago because I KNOW HOW TO PROTECT AWESOME SIGNS!!! The end

Being in an argument is like fighting pizza...you'll give in one day and eat it

So,

Completely strange things going on these days. Such as me. But that's not the point. I'm talking about completely new posts, NOT like my other ones!! Isn't that cool? For once, I feel normal, even if it's not a good feeling, but somewhat demoralizing. But still, for once I can sympathize at how pathetic your guys' lives must be. All because I'm having this strange day where I feel normal (maybe its a nightmare, but I can walk around, so it has to be real).

So yeah, things have been happening. Last Friday and Saturday we went camping up at our cabins; that was something to remember! One of the first things that happened was us golfing off the hill. All of us hadn't golfed in ages, so it was kind of embarrassing for us all,but I think that I had the most embarrassing moment, though. There I was, after watching my cousin (Brian) and Jonathan do their best, even if they didn't look good doing it, I was ready to hit off over those mountains. I take my time getting ready for a stance, and imagine myself hitting the ball (a good accomplishment, in my eyes). I pull back the club and give it a nice swing and whoosh!!! There it was, flying about, 30-40 yards downhill, maybe more, maybe less. Only, you're thinking to yourself, "A golf ball at that distance downhill is pathetic!!" But let me tell you my friends, it was no golf ball flying downhill; golf balls never go "Whoosh!!!" when you hit them, they go "Whipong!", but that's not the point. Flying downhill was no other than my golf club, and boy it was a beautiful sight, probably a Guinness record (or something like that). So yeah, that was definitely memorable.

We also went hunting that day. I believe when the Pilleys, Mike, David, Jeeps, JC and us Crane boys went up there...we destroyed everything. We didn't go too far, but things were pretty grim with very few chipmunks to see. I believe Jonathan and Royce hit one or two, but that's about it.

After camping we went up to Demolition Derby; now there was something to (somewhat) remember! Cars lined up in a mud-square, surrounded by sand backing up and driving forward into cars is a good sight to see. Sometimes things died down at times and cars were pathetic at hitting each other, but it was all good, all good. The last derby in the square was the biggest one yet; 15 all around the sides, waiting to back up (they need to back up and hit a car before they can drive forward and hit a car) into the first car they can. Now, the point of this last derby was to be the last car able to move, which can take hours, mind you! So things kinda got a little tiring watching the last three cars trying to destroy each other while the other cars lay dead in the square. But the beginning of the derby was really fun to see. In one derby, there was even a double team against one car at a point, and it was so cool to watch that car go flying into the dirt mound.

So yeah, different things happening these days....different things.......

Also, one thing. Please pray for our uncle. He lost lots of blood but had surgery and things are looking better for him, but he's still in a lot of pain. If you guys would, please pray for his well recovery, it would be much appreciated.

"This is Your Life, Are You Who You Wanna Be?"

This has to be one of my favorite lyrical quotes from This is Your Life-by Switchfoot. It asks that question that probably every person has asked himself at least once in his lifetime. There are millions of things we do in a lifetime, but the real question is, are you who you want to be?

There are so many questions we can ask ourselves, and I feel like taking the time to put some of them on a blog, rather than a load of bull...ogna, yep. Bullllllogna; it's a new kind of word. So!

When you're with your friends, are your friends the ones to bring you closer to God or ones that will lead you astray with bad examples, immorality, or carelessness?
When you criticize someone at their faults, do you tell them their faults to hopefully let them realize their faults and work with them? Or do you want to tell them their faults just because you can or to cause argument?
When you tell someone about his faults that he cant work with (let's say he has a bad hair day or old clothes and he cant get a haircut or buy new clothes; some bad examples), why do you mention it? Do you want pleasure at feeling better than someone else?
When you interrupt someone, do you interrupt him for something important, or just because you want to get your say quickly before the subject might die?
When you talk about someone...what do you talk about with them? Do you talk edifying things, or are you making known this person's faults? Worse yet, are you making up or exaggerating the faults of the person?
When you argue with someone, what are you arguing for? Do you argue for your point only, or do you try to slander the person you're arguing while trying to prove your point?
When someone makes a mistake and it's obvious he's embarrassed about it, do you go and help him? Or do you stand there watching, pointing, and laughing?
When you go to Mass, what do you do? Are you contemplating on God and readying yourself for the Sacrifice or are you nudging or talking to your best buddy?
Do you think of others whenever doing something, say, when they need help, do you offer help?
Are you one to go talk to someone who has no one to talk to?
Do you share all your belongings? Or do you hold on to them dearly and only share them if that person does something for you in return?
Do you yell at someone for small reasons?
Do you hold grudges?
Do you look at the ups or downs of a person?
Do you make visitors feel welcome or just introduce them to this and that and walk away?
When--

So, my mind has completely gone blank now. I think this is satisfactory, though....Hopefully, all you people in desperate need to ask yourselves these questions!!! Anyways, some of these questions can have loopholes to them or, you know...ways to get out of it. Such as sarcasm :-D, but only when the other person takes it as a joke, not as an insult....

Damien

Ahh, and for the person(s) who made a new profile under my name and picture, I must ask you to please stop...