I might've talked about this before here and there, but it's so important and it's constantly on my mind that I want to talk about. Forgive me for the very poor use of grammar and style of flow on this topic; I'm basically speaking whatever comes to my mind on the subject. I would grade myself a C+, but at least I can share my thoughts with you guys.
Our generation's culture has been known as the "Culture of Death" especially where regarding the number of abortions operated each day. And sadly, the reference "Culture of Death" isn't far from the truth. Beginning in the twenties something big happened...the industrialization of the car. What happened after that? The once common courtship turned into dating-a man can simply pick up his girlfriend in his new Ford Model T-4 and drive wherever he could without supervision. As a result, the number of unwed pregnancies went skyrocketing upwards. Of course, to solve this unwanted pregnancy crisis, there must be some form of blocking-now commonly referred to as protection-from the evils of conceiving. Birth control pills were being adapted as the better method to keep away from unwanted pregnancies and, therefore, reduce the numbers of abortions. Pope Paul VI, however, condemned the idea of birth-control. Especially in his encyclical writing Humanae Vitae, Pope Paul VI expressed that birth control was not the answer and that it would indeed bring harmful consequences. As we know, the birth-control still was popularly adapted and we now have in today's culture. Birth control (and the Model T-4) brought the idea that sex was a much more simpler and common thing. Sex was losing it's sacredness.
Our culture-the "Culture of Death"- is now the culture of sex: Children watch sex-educational videos at around the age of fourteen. Our popular media-magazines, movies, books, music, and television-generate the idea that sex (especially casual sex) is nothing new or wrong. Celebrities will gladly show their bodies for the sake of a "good" scene. On top of the fact that popularity celebrities sell their bodies for movies, they also get them published in magazines such as People, Inquirer, and so many other short-selling magazines that glamorize the flesh and the scandals (I will not discuss the eighth commandment in this post, however) of these celebrities. As you can see, our media makes a huge impact on the culture of sex. Sex sells!
As is known, as the sacredness of sex has decreased, huge factors have played out. First, abortions. They have literally skyrocketed as thousands of innocents are aborted a day. One of my liberal teachers himself said that abortion is to be pointed at as the result of obtaining a culture of sex, but that there is nothing wrong with a culture based on casual sex.
As the value of sex has gone down, there is also a huge increase of divorces. Many marriages are the result of unwanted pregnancies, and after the emotional bondage of sex has declined, the couple feel no need for each other and therefore divorce.
A third: the woman. Many women's right activists thrive on claiming their own freedom and civil rights, yet many of them don't know the facts that many women are not liberated, but in fact slaves of sex. Especially since the rise of abortion and birth control, women are (by others or, sadly, by themselves) turned into machines into which they have a hold on their most beautiful function: to procreate. An example: when birth control was first tested on both men and women, the men on the pill found some uncomfortable side-effects due to the pill. Immediately after, the pill was not an option for men. The women, however, had more drastic results; a few or more women had died as a result of the pill. And yet, that did not stop the pill being designed for women. What is the message here? That women are to be subject to birth control even though their side effects were far worse than those of a man? The value of a woman was (and still is) shot down to an objective being made for pleasure.
It's hard not to get sucked into the culture one way or another. With the influence given by the media-music, fashion, and film-it's hard to stay away. But with the help and grace of God, chastity can be attained. There are still people out there who fight for life and for morality regarding the sacredness of the unborn, women, and sex. It is extremely necessary to pray for the conversion of all souls regarding such issues.
Cheers.
Thursday, April 02, 2009
Friday, March 27, 2009
The Questions:
1. What is your first name? Damien
1. What is your first name? Damien
2. What is your favorite season? Autumn
3. What is your favorite color? Green (it's a tie with blue)
4. Favorite drink? Coffee
5. Dream vacation? Assisi
6. Favorite Hobby? Whatever Works
7. What you want to be/do when you grow up? Nurse
8. What do you love most in life? Happiness
9. One word/phrase to describe you? Imperfect
3. What is your favorite color? Green (it's a tie with blue)
4. Favorite drink? Coffee
5. Dream vacation? Assisi
6. Favorite Hobby? Whatever Works
7. What you want to be/do when you grow up? Nurse
8. What do you love most in life? Happiness
9. One word/phrase to describe you? Imperfect
Enjoy this and share it!
Rules:
a. Type your answer to each of the questions below into Flickr Search (http://www.flickr.com/)
b. Using only the first page of the result, pick an image.
c. Copy and paste each of the URLs for the images into fd’s Mosaic Maker(http://bighugelabs.com/flickr/mosaic.php)
d. Save the image and post it with the questions above!
Rules:
a. Type your answer to each of the questions below into Flickr Search (http://www.flickr.com/)
b. Using only the first page of the result, pick an image.
c. Copy and paste each of the URLs for the images into fd’s Mosaic Maker(http://bighugelabs.com/flickr/mosaic.php)
d. Save the image and post it with the questions above!
Cheers,
Damien
Monday, March 23, 2009
Hello?
This is a call to all you bloggers out there: are you still alive?
I was gonna post something on my thoughts...but for some reason, I don't think they'll come into play with my fingers right now. I guess my thoughts are much bigger than my previous posts' thoughts. On another hand, I really enjoy and miss blogging. Stinkin facebook took control of that. Too bad, though.
Sorry I never wrote about love. I think I wrote part of it, and never got to it. So to save from disappointment, I resign from it. One day...one day it'll be up here though. In the meantime, I deny any responsibility on the issue.
Being responsible sucks. I envy those little kids right now. :-p
I was gonna post something on my thoughts...but for some reason, I don't think they'll come into play with my fingers right now. I guess my thoughts are much bigger than my previous posts' thoughts. On another hand, I really enjoy and miss blogging. Stinkin facebook took control of that. Too bad, though.
Sorry I never wrote about love. I think I wrote part of it, and never got to it. So to save from disappointment, I resign from it. One day...one day it'll be up here though. In the meantime, I deny any responsibility on the issue.
Being responsible sucks. I envy those little kids right now. :-p
Thursday, March 05, 2009
Patrick Madrid's Top Ten Favorite Non-Theological Bible Verses.
Courtesy of Envoy Magazine.
Cheers
#10 Do not eat anything you find already dead (Deut. 14:21).
#9 Give beer to those who are perishing, and wine to those in anguish (Prov. 31:6).
#8 Some small boys came out of the city and jeered at [Elisha], saying, "Go up you baldhead! Go up, you baldhead!" And he turned around and when he saw them, he cursed them in the name of the Lord. And two she-bears came out of the woods and mauled forty-two of the boys (2 Kgs 2:23).
#7 "Dorcas" (Acts 9:36).
#6 Spend the money for whatever you desire...wine or strong drink, or anything else you would enjoy, and there before the Lord, your God, you shall partake of it and make merry with your family (Deut. 14:26).
#5 I will accept no bull from your house (Psalm 50:9).
#4 A fool's lips bring strife, and his mouth invites a beating (Proverbs 18:6).
#3 The sluggard buries his hand in the dish, [but] it wears him out to bring it back to his mouth (Proverbs 26:15).
#2 Behold, you are beautiful, my love! ...You hair is like a flock of goats ...your belly is a heap of wheat ...your nose is like a tower of Lebanon overlooking Damascus (Song of Solomon 4:1, 7:2, 4).
#1 There is an outcry in the streets for lack of wine (Isaiah 24:11).
Cheers
#10 Do not eat anything you find already dead (Deut. 14:21).
#9 Give beer to those who are perishing, and wine to those in anguish (Prov. 31:6).
#8 Some small boys came out of the city and jeered at [Elisha], saying, "Go up you baldhead! Go up, you baldhead!" And he turned around and when he saw them, he cursed them in the name of the Lord. And two she-bears came out of the woods and mauled forty-two of the boys (2 Kgs 2:23).
#7 "Dorcas" (Acts 9:36).
#6 Spend the money for whatever you desire...wine or strong drink, or anything else you would enjoy, and there before the Lord, your God, you shall partake of it and make merry with your family (Deut. 14:26).
#5 I will accept no bull from your house (Psalm 50:9).
#4 A fool's lips bring strife, and his mouth invites a beating (Proverbs 18:6).
#3 The sluggard buries his hand in the dish, [but] it wears him out to bring it back to his mouth (Proverbs 26:15).
#2 Behold, you are beautiful, my love! ...You hair is like a flock of goats ...your belly is a heap of wheat ...your nose is like a tower of Lebanon overlooking Damascus (Song of Solomon 4:1, 7:2, 4).
#1 There is an outcry in the streets for lack of wine (Isaiah 24:11).
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
Admissions Essay
Something I wrote for my psychology class. Fillers!
Everything about psychology fascinates me. Ever since I’ve learned to put it into the perspective of human life (understanding certain actions, causes, and reasons for experiences with myself and others), I can’t get away from using it. Because of all this, it was no surprise that I have been thoroughly enjoying Psych 1A since the first lecture hearing Ernest Baker’s “The Denial of Death.” But there was one section that attracted me more than I thought it would have; the human brain’s right and left hemisphere, whether as a whole or split down the middle.
I had already heard that the one side of the brain controlled the other of the body, that one side can be more “romantic,” or that being left-handed made you right-brained. The lecture, however, brought to me a new and deep insight as to how the brain actually functioned. I loved hearing that being straight-left-handed increased the chances of not only being right-brained, but the chances of being ambidextrous as well. This especially hit me because I myself am straight-left-handed, and always questioned whether I was ambidextrous or not (I write, eat, pour, and brush left while I do almost anything “physical” right.)
Apart from the lecture, I also had a fun experience reading the section in the psychology book. In module 5, when I read the section, Studying Hemispheric Differences in the Intact Brain, I thought the word associations were incredibly interesting. When I had read the words foot, cry, and glass, the word cut kept flashing in my mind before I even read the word. The same happened when the word camp stuck to me while reading the words boot, summer and ground. I was so fascinated by this that I tried it on two of my brothers and even my cousin- who are all right-handed. They couldn’t associate the words nearly as quick as I had- save for one of my brothers who is very musically talented-a feature that I learned was found in the right side of the brain! Either I had not explained the whole situation well enough beforehand to my family (which I proudly believe to have done so), or I experienced experimentation (and results) on the uses and affect of the left and right side of the brain.
Going along with the left and right hemispheres, it further excited me about learning about the split brain. First, I had never thought that anyone with a split brain could live. Second, I had no idea that something like that could actually be helpful to some cases such as epilepsy. I was so caught up in it that I tried explaining (unsuccessfully, I believe) to my friends just out of the blue. Looking back at my lecture notes on the case, I found out I hadn’t much to write about it. The first thing I wrote about the split brain was, “(the) Split Brain is weird.” As simple as that description was, I can go on with so many other words such as fascinating, awesome, deep, or-as an attempt for a joke of the thought of it-mind splitting! All-in-all, the subject of both sides of the brain has definitely blown my own mind. It has entertained me from the start, as well as given me a whole new insight as to the reactions of things. Strangely enough, I still don’t even know whether I’m right or left-brained. Although I don’t know for a fact, I can now make a much more calculated guess than before. After all the knowledge and facts brought to mind that I recently discovered, I must say one thing: that it is all right to be left-handed (this was a reference in the book about guesses that left-handers were to die early and had diseases and problems).
Everything about psychology fascinates me. Ever since I’ve learned to put it into the perspective of human life (understanding certain actions, causes, and reasons for experiences with myself and others), I can’t get away from using it. Because of all this, it was no surprise that I have been thoroughly enjoying Psych 1A since the first lecture hearing Ernest Baker’s “The Denial of Death.” But there was one section that attracted me more than I thought it would have; the human brain’s right and left hemisphere, whether as a whole or split down the middle.
I had already heard that the one side of the brain controlled the other of the body, that one side can be more “romantic,” or that being left-handed made you right-brained. The lecture, however, brought to me a new and deep insight as to how the brain actually functioned. I loved hearing that being straight-left-handed increased the chances of not only being right-brained, but the chances of being ambidextrous as well. This especially hit me because I myself am straight-left-handed, and always questioned whether I was ambidextrous or not (I write, eat, pour, and brush left while I do almost anything “physical” right.)
Apart from the lecture, I also had a fun experience reading the section in the psychology book. In module 5, when I read the section, Studying Hemispheric Differences in the Intact Brain, I thought the word associations were incredibly interesting. When I had read the words foot, cry, and glass, the word cut kept flashing in my mind before I even read the word. The same happened when the word camp stuck to me while reading the words boot, summer and ground. I was so fascinated by this that I tried it on two of my brothers and even my cousin- who are all right-handed. They couldn’t associate the words nearly as quick as I had- save for one of my brothers who is very musically talented-a feature that I learned was found in the right side of the brain! Either I had not explained the whole situation well enough beforehand to my family (which I proudly believe to have done so), or I experienced experimentation (and results) on the uses and affect of the left and right side of the brain.
Going along with the left and right hemispheres, it further excited me about learning about the split brain. First, I had never thought that anyone with a split brain could live. Second, I had no idea that something like that could actually be helpful to some cases such as epilepsy. I was so caught up in it that I tried explaining (unsuccessfully, I believe) to my friends just out of the blue. Looking back at my lecture notes on the case, I found out I hadn’t much to write about it. The first thing I wrote about the split brain was, “(the) Split Brain is weird.” As simple as that description was, I can go on with so many other words such as fascinating, awesome, deep, or-as an attempt for a joke of the thought of it-mind splitting! All-in-all, the subject of both sides of the brain has definitely blown my own mind. It has entertained me from the start, as well as given me a whole new insight as to the reactions of things. Strangely enough, I still don’t even know whether I’m right or left-brained. Although I don’t know for a fact, I can now make a much more calculated guess than before. After all the knowledge and facts brought to mind that I recently discovered, I must say one thing: that it is all right to be left-handed (this was a reference in the book about guesses that left-handers were to die early and had diseases and problems).
Sunday, January 18, 2009
Fillers
2 Awesome Quotes...in my eyes anyways.
“There is no secure answer to the awesome mystery of the human face that scrutinizes itself in the mirror; no answer, at any rate, that can come from the person himself, from his own center. One’s own face may be godlike in its miraculousness, but one lacks the godlike power to know what it means, the godlike strength to have been responsible for its emergence.”
--Ernest Becker-The Denial of Death
"She (The Church) is the Irish grandmother cooking us Italian meatballs in an African kitchen while singing Polish folk songs. And she scolds as she hugs, and calls us to grow when we least want to and to reconcile our hearts in matters which, in their hour of horror, appear beyond even a breath of forgiveness. She is patient. She knows what she is about and that this work is not, ultimately, hers but God's. She lives to see us home."
--David Morrison
“There is no secure answer to the awesome mystery of the human face that scrutinizes itself in the mirror; no answer, at any rate, that can come from the person himself, from his own center. One’s own face may be godlike in its miraculousness, but one lacks the godlike power to know what it means, the godlike strength to have been responsible for its emergence.”
--Ernest Becker-The Denial of Death
"She (The Church) is the Irish grandmother cooking us Italian meatballs in an African kitchen while singing Polish folk songs. And she scolds as she hugs, and calls us to grow when we least want to and to reconcile our hearts in matters which, in their hour of horror, appear beyond even a breath of forgiveness. She is patient. She knows what she is about and that this work is not, ultimately, hers but God's. She lives to see us home."
--David Morrison
Monday, January 12, 2009
Thursday, October 23, 2008
What's Become of God? Part I
What's become of God? Where is He? When has He shown Himself?
These questions are in no way to say that God has disappeared among us, but that today's society has nearly forgotten God in His circumstances--save almost for the wrong.
Popular Uses for God:
1. Blaspheming: "Oh my God!"
2. Blaspheming: Attacks on Religion and Church
3. Curses
4. Blame: Where was God when I needed him?
5. God-related humor.
What happened to prayer life? Religious discussions aside from apologetics? Some are considered Jesus freaks (though many of us are!) just for discussing faith among other topics. Here I will discuss what I believe to happen from a deep lack of faith.
Life goes down.
Depression and hate may be among the more common. Given that they are not only caused by a lack of faith, but I feel sure enough to say that a number of these cases are.
With faith in God, we can trust Him. We can feel Him. We can love Him and feel love because of Him! With true love in God, we can truly love all others. We see the image of God in all people ranging from ourselves to abortionists and orators on terms of abortion, euthanasia-anything against God! If Christ died for all men, and loved them all. Who are we to hate? We love, as our God loves.
Without God-who is the source of love-we find it harder to feel Him. Consequently, it is harder to feel love. A lack of faith in God may bring a lack of love: it can lead to depression; it's harder to see the good in everything, and it drags us down. Good intentions, good people, good wills-they can get thrown away. Instead they are presented as "wrong doings or back-bitings they've done."
Back to the "disappearance" of God, because the way much of our society views religion and God, God becomes a target for all sorts of things. Popular movies, songs, sitcoms, almost anything anywhere blaspheme by using His name in vain, by poking fun of Him, by mocking His name, and by blaming Him for every wrong. The popular phrase "Oh my God!" especially rings out among us. "Oh My God" was once a prayer, but is now used in place of the words "wow" or "Oh no."
What can we do about it? It's never too late to change it all-for ourselves, for loved ones-for the better. Finding a (stronger) love for God by prayer life and charity can really make a difference. Seeing the good in others, as well as ourselves, but acknowledging our faults at the same time. We must remember our duties to God; He created us! We are made to know, love, and to serve Him. We must also protect Him from harm as we and others sin. If a friend yells "Oh, God" ask him why he is calling on God. If a person hates, help him to love. If a person falls, help him back up. In a day and age where God is called on for all the wrong purposes, we must stand true to Him and fight for Him, not give in to the common uses which are now deemed as okay.
On a last note: I will talk about marriage and its sanctity for my next post. And I wish to thank all those who fight for God: for the unborn, on issues of euthanasia and Mary as well as countless other issues. The world seems to fall, but its never too late to hold it up.
These questions are in no way to say that God has disappeared among us, but that today's society has nearly forgotten God in His circumstances--save almost for the wrong.
Popular Uses for God:
1. Blaspheming: "Oh my God!"
2. Blaspheming: Attacks on Religion and Church
3. Curses
4. Blame: Where was God when I needed him?
5. God-related humor.
What happened to prayer life? Religious discussions aside from apologetics? Some are considered Jesus freaks (though many of us are!) just for discussing faith among other topics. Here I will discuss what I believe to happen from a deep lack of faith.
Life goes down.
Depression and hate may be among the more common. Given that they are not only caused by a lack of faith, but I feel sure enough to say that a number of these cases are.
With faith in God, we can trust Him. We can feel Him. We can love Him and feel love because of Him! With true love in God, we can truly love all others. We see the image of God in all people ranging from ourselves to abortionists and orators on terms of abortion, euthanasia-anything against God! If Christ died for all men, and loved them all. Who are we to hate? We love, as our God loves.
Without God-who is the source of love-we find it harder to feel Him. Consequently, it is harder to feel love. A lack of faith in God may bring a lack of love: it can lead to depression; it's harder to see the good in everything, and it drags us down. Good intentions, good people, good wills-they can get thrown away. Instead they are presented as "wrong doings or back-bitings they've done."
Back to the "disappearance" of God, because the way much of our society views religion and God, God becomes a target for all sorts of things. Popular movies, songs, sitcoms, almost anything anywhere blaspheme by using His name in vain, by poking fun of Him, by mocking His name, and by blaming Him for every wrong. The popular phrase "Oh my God!" especially rings out among us. "Oh My God" was once a prayer, but is now used in place of the words "wow" or "Oh no."
What can we do about it? It's never too late to change it all-for ourselves, for loved ones-for the better. Finding a (stronger) love for God by prayer life and charity can really make a difference. Seeing the good in others, as well as ourselves, but acknowledging our faults at the same time. We must remember our duties to God; He created us! We are made to know, love, and to serve Him. We must also protect Him from harm as we and others sin. If a friend yells "Oh, God" ask him why he is calling on God. If a person hates, help him to love. If a person falls, help him back up. In a day and age where God is called on for all the wrong purposes, we must stand true to Him and fight for Him, not give in to the common uses which are now deemed as okay.
On a last note: I will talk about marriage and its sanctity for my next post. And I wish to thank all those who fight for God: for the unborn, on issues of euthanasia and Mary as well as countless other issues. The world seems to fall, but its never too late to hold it up.
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
Start Looking Up
Forget about what you've done in the past. And if you can't, then just the same; use it for your own good.
When we look down the cliffs we've made, we only add to the depressions-to the erosions- forming amongst them. We set the rivers at a stronger pace-destroying what it can to make the gulch larger then we could have expected.
But when we look Up. We close the gap between. We build bridges. We fill the landscape one-hundred feet beneath. If we fail with our bridges, we still need to look up. We realise the faults in our bridge, and we build a new one. We keep building, we keep filling, we keep looking Up.
We all have our faults. But where can we go from them? We can meditate on them, growing worse in our state and adding to the depressions of our own cliffs. Or we can acknowledge them and grow away from them, knowing them as a thing of the past.
It's up to you decide.
With God, all things are possible.
Cheers
When we look down the cliffs we've made, we only add to the depressions-to the erosions- forming amongst them. We set the rivers at a stronger pace-destroying what it can to make the gulch larger then we could have expected.
But when we look Up. We close the gap between. We build bridges. We fill the landscape one-hundred feet beneath. If we fail with our bridges, we still need to look up. We realise the faults in our bridge, and we build a new one. We keep building, we keep filling, we keep looking Up.
We all have our faults. But where can we go from them? We can meditate on them, growing worse in our state and adding to the depressions of our own cliffs. Or we can acknowledge them and grow away from them, knowing them as a thing of the past.
It's up to you decide.
With God, all things are possible.
Cheers
Tuesday, September 30, 2008
Easy
Life is simple and extreme. It's good and bad. It's got upsides and downsides....
Let's not try to make it harder for ourselves by focusing on the downs of life.
Cheers
Let's not try to make it harder for ourselves by focusing on the downs of life.
Cheers
Monday, September 01, 2008
Storytime, Kids!!
On the way to Chico (30 minute drive) and back (after watching the Dark Knight), Lance, Jonathan, Desiree and I were to write two short stories. Our purpose? Merely to have fun. These are their stories (cue in music from Law and Order).
Jonathan's First
Once upon a time there was a magical place where it never rained. The end. Ahahahahaha!!
Desiree's First
Once there was a maiden who was stuck in a tree. The maiden ate a thorn because it had polyjuice potion in it. The maiden then turned into a spiked-animal and died. The end.
Damien's First
The car rolled over the edge and fell twenty feet. It was the most disastrous thing anyone could have ever seen. The man driving simply whistled at the wreckage and shook his head, hands on his hips. "Boy," he said. "I sure am glad I wasn't in the car at the time. I only wished I remembered to put it in park.
Jonathan's Second
Once upon a time there was a little girl who lived in the forest of Dustyville. And in Dustyville there were only walnut trees. So the children picked walnuts for fun. One day, this little girl named Nutty found a most peculiar nut. This nut had no "wal" to it, nor did it feel like an ordinary walnut. She asked herself, "What could this be!?" So she went to her friend Waly and asked him, "What could this be?!" AS soon as Waly's eyes gazed upon this most peculiar of nuts, he screamed in horror like a newborn baby would when he had first seen his birthing bill and turned tail, dropping the nut, running as as he could to Chuck E Cheese's. By now Nutty was quite distressed. For she still did not know what the nut was. So she put it in water to clean it and as soon as the nut touched the water, a large hissing noise ensued. Nutty stood back aghast and watched as something amazing unfolded before her eyes. The nut was shifting shape and started getting larger and larger. The nut was in fact, not a real nut, but a Decepticon nut. (A Transformer in layman's terms). As soon as the nut took shape and Nutty realized what it was, Nutty too transformed, with arms like giant cannons. Both of them fully transformed into their combative stages, taking stances, ready to take part in their dance of death. Just then a loud clap from the sky sounded as if the earth was being split in two. And Jonathan Crane appeared between the two transformers. He stared at both of them--taking it all in-- and said with his powerful voice. "I will end this absurdly random story now." And he did. The end.
Lance's First
Ummm I don't know. How can I tell a story when I haven't thought about it? I need more time to think. And if I think, that requires time. And I have no time.
Desiree's Second.
Right. Umm. Umm. One day a boy was swinging with his playmate. Then they went up a poison tree and played with three dragons. Then they slid down a thorn bush into a dungeon. And then they fought each other and jumped inside of a book. And then they saw Harry Potter. And then Harry said "Avada Kadavra" and they all died.
Lance's Second.
Once upon a time there was a new Batman movie and Jonathan tried out for it. But they said "Your voice is too high! Do you have a brother?" And Jonathan said, "Yes. I do." And so they called Jonathan's brothers up because they heard of two with deep voices and they couldn't decide who was better. So they decided that there should be two Jokers. And so there were two Jokers. And the movie was a multi-million dollar success. But most of the people liked Lance more. The end.
Damien's Second
His guitar was making history. Like he did. But all the songs he wrote to his girl. It was because his girl that he made history. And as he made history with his guitar he paid bills with his guitar. Not by becoming famous with music. He sold his $6,000 vintage Gibson acoustic for a price of 50,000 dollars to a crazy fan. He lost his guitar, but he made history as the best guitar-seller in the world. He made money and paid the bills. By doing so he won his girl. True love prevailed between the two, but he secretly missed his guitar more than anything. His guitar made him happy. So he bought an Ibanez two-toned acoustic with a beautiful fretboard inlay. Life was good.
Jonathan's First
Once upon a time there was a magical place where it never rained. The end. Ahahahahaha!!
Desiree's First
Once there was a maiden who was stuck in a tree. The maiden ate a thorn because it had polyjuice potion in it. The maiden then turned into a spiked-animal and died. The end.
Damien's First
The car rolled over the edge and fell twenty feet. It was the most disastrous thing anyone could have ever seen. The man driving simply whistled at the wreckage and shook his head, hands on his hips. "Boy," he said. "I sure am glad I wasn't in the car at the time. I only wished I remembered to put it in park.
Jonathan's Second
Once upon a time there was a little girl who lived in the forest of Dustyville. And in Dustyville there were only walnut trees. So the children picked walnuts for fun. One day, this little girl named Nutty found a most peculiar nut. This nut had no "wal" to it, nor did it feel like an ordinary walnut. She asked herself, "What could this be!?" So she went to her friend Waly and asked him, "What could this be?!" AS soon as Waly's eyes gazed upon this most peculiar of nuts, he screamed in horror like a newborn baby would when he had first seen his birthing bill and turned tail, dropping the nut, running as as he could to Chuck E Cheese's. By now Nutty was quite distressed. For she still did not know what the nut was. So she put it in water to clean it and as soon as the nut touched the water, a large hissing noise ensued. Nutty stood back aghast and watched as something amazing unfolded before her eyes. The nut was shifting shape and started getting larger and larger. The nut was in fact, not a real nut, but a Decepticon nut. (A Transformer in layman's terms). As soon as the nut took shape and Nutty realized what it was, Nutty too transformed, with arms like giant cannons. Both of them fully transformed into their combative stages, taking stances, ready to take part in their dance of death. Just then a loud clap from the sky sounded as if the earth was being split in two. And Jonathan Crane appeared between the two transformers. He stared at both of them--taking it all in-- and said with his powerful voice. "I will end this absurdly random story now." And he did. The end.
Lance's First
Ummm I don't know. How can I tell a story when I haven't thought about it? I need more time to think. And if I think, that requires time. And I have no time.
Desiree's Second.
Right. Umm. Umm. One day a boy was swinging with his playmate. Then they went up a poison tree and played with three dragons. Then they slid down a thorn bush into a dungeon. And then they fought each other and jumped inside of a book. And then they saw Harry Potter. And then Harry said "Avada Kadavra" and they all died.
Lance's Second.
Once upon a time there was a new Batman movie and Jonathan tried out for it. But they said "Your voice is too high! Do you have a brother?" And Jonathan said, "Yes. I do." And so they called Jonathan's brothers up because they heard of two with deep voices and they couldn't decide who was better. So they decided that there should be two Jokers. And so there were two Jokers. And the movie was a multi-million dollar success. But most of the people liked Lance more. The end.
Damien's Second
His guitar was making history. Like he did. But all the songs he wrote to his girl. It was because his girl that he made history. And as he made history with his guitar he paid bills with his guitar. Not by becoming famous with music. He sold his $6,000 vintage Gibson acoustic for a price of 50,000 dollars to a crazy fan. He lost his guitar, but he made history as the best guitar-seller in the world. He made money and paid the bills. By doing so he won his girl. True love prevailed between the two, but he secretly missed his guitar more than anything. His guitar made him happy. So he bought an Ibanez two-toned acoustic with a beautiful fretboard inlay. Life was good.
Thursday, August 14, 2008
Use Your Light
Last Sunday, while waiting in line for confession, I realised something drastic.
I made a god of myself. And I belittled my One and Only God.
There's no denying what I did and how complicated, yet simple it was. Even then in line I didn't realise the absolute terror of it all. But I had done that. Its almost what my mind had become to think automatically. And when I think about making a god of myself, I know that it isn't too uncommon in life. You might wonder how I became of this, but its so much easier than you could possibly think; its probably very common with the more choleric and melancholic types!
How it happened was very simple. I sinned. Not as easy as that, but almost as easy. What happened was that I fell into the pitying state that happens when one sins-- I believed that, by sinning the same sin again and again, it could only mean that I could not obtain mercy. Sure it didn't seem too much at the time; I know that God can forgive me over and over in the ways I can't imagine. But what I did was question God. And by doing so made a god of myself.
( figuratively: )
I told myself I was the rock God couldn't lift because my burden was too big.
I broke God's limits of mercy.
When I imagine it in that sense, I can only hope I never question God's mercy again. And that I strive even to the point of death to do better. I need God. I don't need to question Him. I need my Way and my Light.
In a day when depression and despair is only too common I want to say to everyone...look to the Light that is our God. We need God to love, not to question. I know things sometimes get black and hope seems so far away, but imagine you're lost in a forest as dark and evil as sin. How can we get out? We use a light. Flashlights are always used for the purpose of sight and recovery...to find your lost item or to find your way in the night. Lighthouses guide boats all over the coast. God is our spiritual light! Never lose hold of Him. And when it feels as if you did, He'll be somewhere to guide you towards mercy.
There is no sin too great for God.
There is no man who God won't forgive.
Don't lose hope.
Cheers
I made a god of myself. And I belittled my One and Only God.
There's no denying what I did and how complicated, yet simple it was. Even then in line I didn't realise the absolute terror of it all. But I had done that. Its almost what my mind had become to think automatically. And when I think about making a god of myself, I know that it isn't too uncommon in life. You might wonder how I became of this, but its so much easier than you could possibly think; its probably very common with the more choleric and melancholic types!
How it happened was very simple. I sinned. Not as easy as that, but almost as easy. What happened was that I fell into the pitying state that happens when one sins-- I believed that, by sinning the same sin again and again, it could only mean that I could not obtain mercy. Sure it didn't seem too much at the time; I know that God can forgive me over and over in the ways I can't imagine. But what I did was question God. And by doing so made a god of myself.
( figuratively: )
I told myself I was the rock God couldn't lift because my burden was too big.
I broke God's limits of mercy.
When I imagine it in that sense, I can only hope I never question God's mercy again. And that I strive even to the point of death to do better. I need God. I don't need to question Him. I need my Way and my Light.
In a day when depression and despair is only too common I want to say to everyone...look to the Light that is our God. We need God to love, not to question. I know things sometimes get black and hope seems so far away, but imagine you're lost in a forest as dark and evil as sin. How can we get out? We use a light. Flashlights are always used for the purpose of sight and recovery...to find your lost item or to find your way in the night. Lighthouses guide boats all over the coast. God is our spiritual light! Never lose hold of Him. And when it feels as if you did, He'll be somewhere to guide you towards mercy.
There is no sin too great for God.
There is no man who God won't forgive.
Don't lose hope.
Cheers
Monday, August 04, 2008
Survey!
I'll put up my answers later on. It's what you feel at the moment...it doesn't really matter. :-p
Facebook or Myspace?
Violin or Cello?
Acoustic or Electric?
Classical or Modern?
Type or Write?
Read or Watch?
Play or Relax?
Laughter or Seriousness?
Rockstar or Sleep?
Car or Truck?
Chevy or Ford?
Jackie Chan or Jet Li?
Starbucks or Any Other Coffee Shop?
Coke or Pepsi?
McDonald's or Burger King?
Sierra Mist or 7up?
White Cake or Brown Cake?
Rock or Rap?
Violence or Romance?
Comedy or Horror?
Vacation on the States or for Foreign Areas?
Cat or Dog?
Heath Ledger or Jack Nicholson?
Chuck Norris or Stephen Segal?
Cheers
Facebook or Myspace?
Violin or Cello?
Acoustic or Electric?
Classical or Modern?
Type or Write?
Read or Watch?
Play or Relax?
Laughter or Seriousness?
Rockstar or Sleep?
Car or Truck?
Chevy or Ford?
Jackie Chan or Jet Li?
Starbucks or Any Other Coffee Shop?
Coke or Pepsi?
McDonald's or Burger King?
Sierra Mist or 7up?
White Cake or Brown Cake?
Rock or Rap?
Violence or Romance?
Comedy or Horror?
Vacation on the States or for Foreign Areas?
Cat or Dog?
Heath Ledger or Jack Nicholson?
Chuck Norris or Stephen Segal?
Cheers
Saturday, August 02, 2008
Quick-Uns
Hey guys! Just a bit of an update. I'm going to be doing two posts pretty soon when I have a better chance. One for kicks...like a survey (don't we just love those?) and then another more serious one on life and the importance of it's Light (I'm sure you REALLY love those kinds of posts, too. :-p). And it's hecka late for a tired person like Damien, so Damien is going to go pack up and get to bed!
Sample survey Q, in case you want to think of any for a comment or so:
"Facebook or Myspace?"
Facebook (my answer)
Oh! And I'll be adding on anonymous comments for those who don't have an account but wish to comment one way or another. Feel free for suggestions, comments, or questions!
Cheers.
Sample survey Q, in case you want to think of any for a comment or so:
"Facebook or Myspace?"
Facebook (my answer)
Oh! And I'll be adding on anonymous comments for those who don't have an account but wish to comment one way or another. Feel free for suggestions, comments, or questions!
Cheers.
Friday, July 18, 2008
More Things On My Mind
LIFE IS TOO SHORT. IT REALLY IS.
But is it really? Who are we to judge time and say whether we are living our lives too short or too long? Too short how? I'd like to talk about time in life as I view it as well as some other related stuff.
It is commonly said that life is too short. But how so? I personally am not one to agree with that saying. Only in the sense that life (time) here on Earth is short (especially short!) when compared to time in Heaven. But in all other senses, I can't find any reason to say that time is too short. I tried thinking about the reason for this belief and I came up with one thing.
Goals.
Lists.
Patience (lack thereof).
Those are my reasons. Yep. There they are. Why would life be viewed as too short if there weren't anything to make any pressure of time? And that is exactly what goals and lists are: something to do before the time is out. I'm not saying to never plan anything- that would be impossible!-- especially with movies and nights out and marriages, just that you need to have one more thing... And that's patience! If you were even a bit impatient (which is the case for most everyone), you would be pressured by time. With impatience, we have what we want in mind, but we want it now. If not now, than rather soon!
It's alright to plan out your life, but I would suggest to everyone to pray for patience. Let God take control. If He's not giving what you want to you, then He probably has some really ridiculously good reason for it. Some people can't have the time, but there is never an absolute with God for us. If God can make the world and rest on the seventh day, then--if He wants it for you-- be patient and hope and know that God has the best intentions for you and might give what you ask for.
Just a thing that I want to also talk about is something that happens to millions of people and that is being impatient with relationships. I wouldn't blame anyone, especially with how the media is with romance movies, books, and music and what not affecting almost everyone with an even greater desire for love. When people read these, though...they need patience again. It's everyone's desire to love and be loved, but, as I said before, let God take care of that. Don't rush things...that always harms things. Patience is needed like no other with relationships. It's like this:
Girls: Dance with God...He'll let the perfect man step in.
Guys: Wait for God to hook you up...He's really good at that. (Cheesy, I know)
Patience, people! Life isn't short. Life is exactly what God gives you and wants for you. Don't lose hope.
Cheers.
But is it really? Who are we to judge time and say whether we are living our lives too short or too long? Too short how? I'd like to talk about time in life as I view it as well as some other related stuff.
It is commonly said that life is too short. But how so? I personally am not one to agree with that saying. Only in the sense that life (time) here on Earth is short (especially short!) when compared to time in Heaven. But in all other senses, I can't find any reason to say that time is too short. I tried thinking about the reason for this belief and I came up with one thing.
Goals.
Lists.
Patience (lack thereof).
Those are my reasons. Yep. There they are. Why would life be viewed as too short if there weren't anything to make any pressure of time? And that is exactly what goals and lists are: something to do before the time is out. I'm not saying to never plan anything- that would be impossible!-- especially with movies and nights out and marriages, just that you need to have one more thing... And that's patience! If you were even a bit impatient (which is the case for most everyone), you would be pressured by time. With impatience, we have what we want in mind, but we want it now. If not now, than rather soon!
It's alright to plan out your life, but I would suggest to everyone to pray for patience. Let God take control. If He's not giving what you want to you, then He probably has some really ridiculously good reason for it. Some people can't have the time, but there is never an absolute with God for us. If God can make the world and rest on the seventh day, then--if He wants it for you-- be patient and hope and know that God has the best intentions for you and might give what you ask for.
Just a thing that I want to also talk about is something that happens to millions of people and that is being impatient with relationships. I wouldn't blame anyone, especially with how the media is with romance movies, books, and music and what not affecting almost everyone with an even greater desire for love. When people read these, though...they need patience again. It's everyone's desire to love and be loved, but, as I said before, let God take care of that. Don't rush things...that always harms things. Patience is needed like no other with relationships. It's like this:
Girls: Dance with God...He'll let the perfect man step in.
Guys: Wait for God to hook you up...He's really good at that. (Cheesy, I know)
Patience, people! Life isn't short. Life is exactly what God gives you and wants for you. Don't lose hope.
Cheers.
Monday, July 07, 2008
Lovely Little Spider
Outside our window, hidden by the white of the clouds in the backdrop, was a web in the making.
A spider had a purpose, and that was her abode. The spider first crept to the sides of the window: side-to-side, up and down it went in every direction. Then, once its base was complete, the spider crept in circles, going from line of web to web in perfect balance; with perfect precision it went. Farther and farther out the circles went, until the spider was thoroughly satisfied. Next came the details. Even now, the spider is constantly moving above my head right out the window. What she is doing with her home, I know not. But I do know she has a purpose, as does everything. The web may be knocked off by wind or a broom, but while the spider lives, so does her purpose.
In my way of relating things, I found that the spider is a good way to start up the conversation of purpose: what it is, where it fits in, our purpose in life, our purpose for things. My purpose for this topic is to discuss purpose, so to say.
I’ll begin where I find it best to begin. That is, the meaning of purpose. There are actually a few ways to define it, though, if you want to get technical, they both need each other. At least, in my fantastical echnical sense, its that way! The first is the basic with which every little kid has learned at such a young age. And that is the intentional purpose; the purpose where kids can say
“Mom! Timmy just bit my finger again!! On purpose!!”
The second can be defined as an existence of reason of purpose. Reason of purpose is like the lovely little spider (this is a lot to say, being that spiders give me the creeps; I’ve always a fond fascination for them, though) that has set her goals- her whole life even- to just her little spider web. Alice, when talking to the depressed turtle in “Alice in Wonderland” realizes about purpose when the turtle explains that when a school of fish set off for somewhere else, they are to be asked “With what porpoise?” (haha, get it?) But seriously! By the reason, I mean that we have something in our mind, like a home in the making. Its almost a wanting, and it makes us strive. We strive for something, so we intentionally work for it (see how they can kind of go together?).
Now that the definition is (hopefully) explained adequately enough, I wish to discuss purpose. First, intention! Not that I really want to get into detail with this, but I just wish everyone to question our intentions…for everything! I read a book (Boy Meets Girl by Joshua Harris) that discussed arguments and the intentions that begin them. I just wanted to bring up what quickly came to mind. And what had come to mind was grievances.
There is always an intention for something: an outcome, or a reason, so to say. What came to mind was that when something was bothering someone, that someone would want to “get it to stop.” But there are two ways at how that can happen. When a person is about to try to talk to someone about something they don’t like, they already have the reason for purpose. Then comes the intention. The common way is when a person confronts the bother-er in an bad fashion (usually found in the middle of arguments too):
“Whenever we’re there you always have to make this remark. And it always bothers me and it makes you look stupid when you say it and there is no need to even say it over and over and over again. Sometimes your big fat mouth just gets the better of you and you make a fool of yourself.”
Now what is purpose of that? Was the intention of this paragraph to edify the bother-er, or to just put him down so that you may feel better about something bothering you. Why not try it a different way to make it sound like an offering hand rather than a piercing tongue? I just wanted to bring that up because---I know with me anyways-- the piercing tongue is found very often. Hopefully a new look on our intentions may help us to become better people?
And then of course I shall end it with our--humanity’s-- purpose, for I fear I am dragging this post too long. St. Bernard says our life here on Earth is to glorify God as much as we can! It is the existence-of-reason purpose that makes us live for a goal. Sure, we’re meant to be married or clerical, a lawyer or a theologian, but our Ultimate Purpose is to serve God in everyway we can! I enjoy thinking about that often, because it calls to mind our duty in life, despite the distractions of jobs and friends and plans. We always need God on the end of a rope. And we always need to be pulling that rope.
Like the spider and her home. So it is us and God.
Cheers
Damien
If there are any questions or anything I need to make clearer, feel free to ask.
A spider had a purpose, and that was her abode. The spider first crept to the sides of the window: side-to-side, up and down it went in every direction. Then, once its base was complete, the spider crept in circles, going from line of web to web in perfect balance; with perfect precision it went. Farther and farther out the circles went, until the spider was thoroughly satisfied. Next came the details. Even now, the spider is constantly moving above my head right out the window. What she is doing with her home, I know not. But I do know she has a purpose, as does everything. The web may be knocked off by wind or a broom, but while the spider lives, so does her purpose.
In my way of relating things, I found that the spider is a good way to start up the conversation of purpose: what it is, where it fits in, our purpose in life, our purpose for things. My purpose for this topic is to discuss purpose, so to say.
I’ll begin where I find it best to begin. That is, the meaning of purpose. There are actually a few ways to define it, though, if you want to get technical, they both need each other. At least, in my fantastical echnical sense, its that way! The first is the basic with which every little kid has learned at such a young age. And that is the intentional purpose; the purpose where kids can say
“Mom! Timmy just bit my finger again!! On purpose!!”
The second can be defined as an existence of reason of purpose. Reason of purpose is like the lovely little spider (this is a lot to say, being that spiders give me the creeps; I’ve always a fond fascination for them, though) that has set her goals- her whole life even- to just her little spider web. Alice, when talking to the depressed turtle in “Alice in Wonderland” realizes about purpose when the turtle explains that when a school of fish set off for somewhere else, they are to be asked “With what porpoise?” (haha, get it?) But seriously! By the reason, I mean that we have something in our mind, like a home in the making. Its almost a wanting, and it makes us strive. We strive for something, so we intentionally work for it (see how they can kind of go together?).
Now that the definition is (hopefully) explained adequately enough, I wish to discuss purpose. First, intention! Not that I really want to get into detail with this, but I just wish everyone to question our intentions…for everything! I read a book (Boy Meets Girl by Joshua Harris) that discussed arguments and the intentions that begin them. I just wanted to bring up what quickly came to mind. And what had come to mind was grievances.
There is always an intention for something: an outcome, or a reason, so to say. What came to mind was that when something was bothering someone, that someone would want to “get it to stop.” But there are two ways at how that can happen. When a person is about to try to talk to someone about something they don’t like, they already have the reason for purpose. Then comes the intention. The common way is when a person confronts the bother-er in an bad fashion (usually found in the middle of arguments too):
“Whenever we’re there you always have to make this remark. And it always bothers me and it makes you look stupid when you say it and there is no need to even say it over and over and over again. Sometimes your big fat mouth just gets the better of you and you make a fool of yourself.”
Now what is purpose of that? Was the intention of this paragraph to edify the bother-er, or to just put him down so that you may feel better about something bothering you. Why not try it a different way to make it sound like an offering hand rather than a piercing tongue? I just wanted to bring that up because---I know with me anyways-- the piercing tongue is found very often. Hopefully a new look on our intentions may help us to become better people?
And then of course I shall end it with our--humanity’s-- purpose, for I fear I am dragging this post too long. St. Bernard says our life here on Earth is to glorify God as much as we can! It is the existence-of-reason purpose that makes us live for a goal. Sure, we’re meant to be married or clerical, a lawyer or a theologian, but our Ultimate Purpose is to serve God in everyway we can! I enjoy thinking about that often, because it calls to mind our duty in life, despite the distractions of jobs and friends and plans. We always need God on the end of a rope. And we always need to be pulling that rope.
Like the spider and her home. So it is us and God.
Cheers
Damien
If there are any questions or anything I need to make clearer, feel free to ask.
Saturday, June 28, 2008
Just Sickening
Alright guys. There's something that's been on my mind for waaaaay too long. And I'm sick of it. I can't stand it anymore. It makes me want to curl into a ball and make believe it's not real. And you all should know what it is, because its EVERYWHERE!
It's complaining. I can't stand it!
I hate it when people just complain and complain and complain about what they're doing. All they do is just go, "wah, wah, wah, wah wah. " and they're not even playing a guitar with a wah-wah pedal on it! These people think the world evolves just around them and all they do is just complain and nag about it. CAN'T YOU GUYS STOP IT!? IT's GETTING ON MY NERVES!!!!
Aww, who am I kidding? I did a post like this a long time ago, I remembers now. I'm not really angry guys...I did that for kicks when, about a paragraph into it, I realised I did this before. Oh well. Just giving you all an update when I've got a little time.
Summer!
I've been working, nothing new. But I went to Camp Sacred Heart 2008. One of the best camps ever! And I led my team to a victory! Oh yeah! Who can do something like that? My team, St. Theophane Venard, was able to get it's name on the back of the bear head cup. A definite, sweet, sweet reward.
And that's about it. Smoke was/is all over the place, but its like that everywhere else. Aaaand yeah.
Oh! I'm reading "Socrates vs. Sartre" by Peter Kreeft and it is a hecka entertaining book for anyone who really enjoys deep philosophy. Beware, though. If you're like me and aren't the best at it, you might get some headaches! :-p
And then there's a song that always gets stuck in my head. You should listen to it! Its "I'm Yours" by Jason Mraz. It basically rocks, but not literally. Or musically for that matter. Its mellow!
And I'm out!
Cheers.
It's complaining. I can't stand it!
I hate it when people just complain and complain and complain about what they're doing. All they do is just go, "wah, wah, wah, wah wah. " and they're not even playing a guitar with a wah-wah pedal on it! These people think the world evolves just around them and all they do is just complain and nag about it. CAN'T YOU GUYS STOP IT!? IT's GETTING ON MY NERVES!!!!
Aww, who am I kidding? I did a post like this a long time ago, I remembers now. I'm not really angry guys...I did that for kicks when, about a paragraph into it, I realised I did this before. Oh well. Just giving you all an update when I've got a little time.
Summer!
I've been working, nothing new. But I went to Camp Sacred Heart 2008. One of the best camps ever! And I led my team to a victory! Oh yeah! Who can do something like that? My team, St. Theophane Venard, was able to get it's name on the back of the bear head cup. A definite, sweet, sweet reward.
And that's about it. Smoke was/is all over the place, but its like that everywhere else. Aaaand yeah.
Oh! I'm reading "Socrates vs. Sartre" by Peter Kreeft and it is a hecka entertaining book for anyone who really enjoys deep philosophy. Beware, though. If you're like me and aren't the best at it, you might get some headaches! :-p
And then there's a song that always gets stuck in my head. You should listen to it! Its "I'm Yours" by Jason Mraz. It basically rocks, but not literally. Or musically for that matter. Its mellow!
And I'm out!
Cheers.
Monday, June 23, 2008
I Just Love This
There are different versions of this, but this is the longest/cleanest.
Cheers
HOW TO GIVE YOUR CAT A PILL IN TWENTY EASY STEPS
1. Sit on sofa. Pick up cat and cradle it in the crook of your elbow as though you were going to give a bottle to a baby. Talk softly to it.
2. With right hand, position right forefinger and thumb on either side of cat's mouth and gently apply pressure to cheeks while holding pill in right hand. (be patient) As cat opens mouth pop pill into mouth. Allow cat to close mouth and swallow. Drop pill into mouth. Let go of cat, noticing the direction it runs.
3. Pick the pill up off the floor and go get the cat from behind sofa. Cradle cat in left arm and repeat process. Sit on floor in kitchen, wrap arm around cat as before, drop pill in mouth. Let go of cat, noticing the direction it runs.
4. Retrieve cat from bedroom, and throw soggy pill away. Scoot across floor to pick up pill, and go find the cat. Bring it back into the kitchen. Take new pill from foil wrap, cradle cat in left arm holding rear paws tightly with left hand. Force jaws open and push pill to back of mouth with right forefinger. Hold mouth shut for a count of ten. Drop pill into mouth.
5. Pry claws from back legs out of your arm. Go get the cat, pick up half-dissolved pill from floor and drop it into garbage can.
6. Retrieve pill from goldfish bowl and cat from top of closet. Call spouse from backyard. Kneel on floor with cat wedged firmly between knees, hold front and rear paws. Ignore low growls emitted by cat. Get spouse to hold head firmly with one hand while forcing wooden ruler into mouth. Drop pill down ruler and rub cat's throat vigorously.
7. Retrieve cat from curtain rod, get another pill from foil wrap. Make note to buy new ruler and repair curtains. Carefully sweep shattered Doulton figures from hearth and set to one side for gluing later.
8. Get spouse to lie on cat with head just visible from below armpit. Put pill in end of drinking straw, force mouth open with pencil and blow down drinking straw.
9. Check label to make sure pill not harmful to humans, drink glass of water to take taste away. Apply Band-Aid to spouse's forearm and remove blood from carpet with cold water and soap.
10. Retrieve cat from neighbor's shed. Get another pill. Place cat in cupboard and close door onto neck to leave head showing. Force mouth open with dessert spoon. Flick pill down throat with rubber band.
11. Fetch screwdriver from garage and put door back on hinges. Apply cold compress to cheek and check records for date of last tetanus shot. Throw T-shirt away and fetch new one from bedroom.
12. Call fire department to retrieve cat from tree across the road. Apologize to neighbor who crashed into fence while swerving to avoid cat. Take another pill from foil wrap.
13. Tie cat's front paws to rear paws with garden twine and bind tightly to leg of dining table, find heavy duty pruning gloves from shed, force cat's mouth open with small spanner. Push pill into mouth followed by large piece of fillet steak. Hold head vertically and pour one cup of water down throat to wash pill down.
14. Get spouse to drive you to the emergency room, sit quietly while doctor stitches fingers and forearm and removes pill remnants from right eye. Call at furniture shop on way home to order new table.
15. Get last pill from bottle. Go into bathroom and get a fluffy towel. Stay in the bathroom with the cat, and close the door.
16. Sit on bathroom floor, wrap towel around kitty, leaving only his head exposed. Cradle kitty in the crook of your arm, and pick up pill off of counter.
17. Retrieve cat from top of shower door (you didn't know that cats can jump 5 feet straight up in the air, did you?), and wrap towel around it a little tighter, making sure its paws can't come out this time. With fingers at either side of its jaw, pry it open and pop pill into mouth. Quickly close mouth (his, not yours).
18. Sit on floor with cat in your lap, stroking it under the chin and talking gently to it for at least a half hour, while the pill dissolves.
19. Unwrap towel, open bathroom door. Wash off scratches in warm soapy water, comb your hair, and go find something to occupy your time for 7-1/2 hours.
20. Arrange for SPCA to get cat and call local pet shop to see if they have any hamsters.
How to give a dog a pill
1. Wrap in bacon and toss in the air.
Cheers
HOW TO GIVE YOUR CAT A PILL IN TWENTY EASY STEPS
1. Sit on sofa. Pick up cat and cradle it in the crook of your elbow as though you were going to give a bottle to a baby. Talk softly to it.
2. With right hand, position right forefinger and thumb on either side of cat's mouth and gently apply pressure to cheeks while holding pill in right hand. (be patient) As cat opens mouth pop pill into mouth. Allow cat to close mouth and swallow. Drop pill into mouth. Let go of cat, noticing the direction it runs.
3. Pick the pill up off the floor and go get the cat from behind sofa. Cradle cat in left arm and repeat process. Sit on floor in kitchen, wrap arm around cat as before, drop pill in mouth. Let go of cat, noticing the direction it runs.
4. Retrieve cat from bedroom, and throw soggy pill away. Scoot across floor to pick up pill, and go find the cat. Bring it back into the kitchen. Take new pill from foil wrap, cradle cat in left arm holding rear paws tightly with left hand. Force jaws open and push pill to back of mouth with right forefinger. Hold mouth shut for a count of ten. Drop pill into mouth.
5. Pry claws from back legs out of your arm. Go get the cat, pick up half-dissolved pill from floor and drop it into garbage can.
6. Retrieve pill from goldfish bowl and cat from top of closet. Call spouse from backyard. Kneel on floor with cat wedged firmly between knees, hold front and rear paws. Ignore low growls emitted by cat. Get spouse to hold head firmly with one hand while forcing wooden ruler into mouth. Drop pill down ruler and rub cat's throat vigorously.
7. Retrieve cat from curtain rod, get another pill from foil wrap. Make note to buy new ruler and repair curtains. Carefully sweep shattered Doulton figures from hearth and set to one side for gluing later.
8. Get spouse to lie on cat with head just visible from below armpit. Put pill in end of drinking straw, force mouth open with pencil and blow down drinking straw.
9. Check label to make sure pill not harmful to humans, drink glass of water to take taste away. Apply Band-Aid to spouse's forearm and remove blood from carpet with cold water and soap.
10. Retrieve cat from neighbor's shed. Get another pill. Place cat in cupboard and close door onto neck to leave head showing. Force mouth open with dessert spoon. Flick pill down throat with rubber band.
11. Fetch screwdriver from garage and put door back on hinges. Apply cold compress to cheek and check records for date of last tetanus shot. Throw T-shirt away and fetch new one from bedroom.
12. Call fire department to retrieve cat from tree across the road. Apologize to neighbor who crashed into fence while swerving to avoid cat. Take another pill from foil wrap.
13. Tie cat's front paws to rear paws with garden twine and bind tightly to leg of dining table, find heavy duty pruning gloves from shed, force cat's mouth open with small spanner. Push pill into mouth followed by large piece of fillet steak. Hold head vertically and pour one cup of water down throat to wash pill down.
14. Get spouse to drive you to the emergency room, sit quietly while doctor stitches fingers and forearm and removes pill remnants from right eye. Call at furniture shop on way home to order new table.
15. Get last pill from bottle. Go into bathroom and get a fluffy towel. Stay in the bathroom with the cat, and close the door.
16. Sit on bathroom floor, wrap towel around kitty, leaving only his head exposed. Cradle kitty in the crook of your arm, and pick up pill off of counter.
17. Retrieve cat from top of shower door (you didn't know that cats can jump 5 feet straight up in the air, did you?), and wrap towel around it a little tighter, making sure its paws can't come out this time. With fingers at either side of its jaw, pry it open and pop pill into mouth. Quickly close mouth (his, not yours).
18. Sit on floor with cat in your lap, stroking it under the chin and talking gently to it for at least a half hour, while the pill dissolves.
19. Unwrap towel, open bathroom door. Wash off scratches in warm soapy water, comb your hair, and go find something to occupy your time for 7-1/2 hours.
20. Arrange for SPCA to get cat and call local pet shop to see if they have any hamsters.
How to give a dog a pill
1. Wrap in bacon and toss in the air.
Thursday, June 05, 2008
Monday, June 02, 2008
Boring
I would suggest not reading my last post...It's knock-yourself-dead-boring.
Boring.
cool word, huh?
Boring
"Gee Alfred, I know I'm not the funnest guy around..." - ?
Who can tell me what that is from??
Cheers
Boring.
cool word, huh?
Boring
"Gee Alfred, I know I'm not the funnest guy around..." - ?
Who can tell me what that is from??
Cheers
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