You Silly Swiss

And so, Damien begins his next negative, yet oh so important topic of the "Every So Once in a While."

*Cue in some awesome music while I get seated*
*Cut music, cue lights on none other than Damien*

Hello ladies and gentlemen, lets get to the chase; my topic is going to be about none other than Insolent Jerks.

Where can you find these people, someone might often wonder. Well, I would suggest you look to the left, right or behind your computer. If you see nobody, then leave the room until you find someone, and chances are that person is an insolent jerk. But they cant be your parents; I'll talk about that some other time.
Now, if you're somehow not smart enough to know what a jerk is (and I know this is so many of you young readers), I shall explain it to you. A jerk is someone who cares for no one (mostly) all the time. Jerks think about no one other than themselves; they're actually really easy to spot, as I said earlier.
Jerks say things...really mean things, and they say them very often. They'll say that your house is dirt cheap, or that your car is so old they think they're grandma drove one when she was ten. And yes, they say things like that. They'll stare at how your shoes arent tied properly, or worse, they'll stare at your bare feet...and trust me, that's eerie. Sometimes you're forced to try and befriend one of these jerks and you invite them for dinner once in a while. These jerks try your mom's specialistic food and makes a disgusted face while looking at the food, asking, "What is this, I've never seen it before." while its plainly a PB&J*.
Other jerks are jerks in a different kind of way. These kind of jerks are the ones that always have to hint at something. They try and point out that someone is doing such and such without pointing names (but obviously leading to the name) in topics, posts on blogs, and things of the sort. They'll hint at other jerks also, trying to make themselves look good. They'll talk about people who are rude, impatient, fashionable in so many ways, and so, so much more. They'll hint to practically every flaw in almost every single way possible. And they're obviously conjuring other ways to hint at something.
Jerks never apologize for anything, too. They'll do the wrongestest thing in the whole, wide world and never apologize. They'll avoid it as much as possible. For example, a boy just made fun of a friend and, later, on yahoo, says "Oh, I remember saying that to you :-(" They'll make the smiley face a way to apologize, but they'll never flat out apologize for their wrong.
So, basically all is said about jerks; I must now instruct on how to deal with these jerks. First, you should just go up to them, one way or the other and flat out tell them that you really dislike (we are not allowed to hate, my friends) them and never want to see them again. Another way to deal with it is just stay away from them, for crying out loud. I mean, if this person is a jerk, you're not going to be the best of friends with him, right? So STAY AWAY FROM HIM, for crying out loud (and yes, I can say that twice). You could also send them hate mail, death threats, things of the such and hope they just shut up from being scared. Things like this should hope though. I shall leave now. Thanks and good night.**

*1 Note: This is just an example. If your mother makes a darn good PB&J for dinner, then by all means invite me too. :-D

*Cue exiting music. Lights fade. Damien walks off*